Jiley Oneshots

I do love you (part 3 of it's meaningless, but it's so much more)

Semi-long but important note at the end. Please read it fully:)

Riley's POV

We'd just won Internationals. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe I was an Internationals winner. Actually, what I couldn't believe was we managed to pull ourselves together enough to win. We were on track, we were doing so well. And then we weren't. When I told James I didn't love him, he snapped. Suddenly we couldn't even be in the same room. It didn't matter if we were together or alone, the outcome was always the same. Everyone on A troupe noticed the heightened tension between us, but no one could figure out why. Numerous times I found myself wishing I'd just said I loved him back, but I knew I couldn't. I can't pretend. That's a terrible thing to do, you're looking to hurt someone if you pretend to love them. I didn't love him, but I didn't hate him as much anymore. I didn't want to hurt him. Somehow, despite our reinstated hatred, James and I managed to pull it together for the team. I think managing to convince the audience we didn't despise each other was worthy of an Oscar. I'm just glad I didn't screw this up too. I sighed, swirling my straw in my drink. We were at the after party, celebrating our win. Or, everyone else was. I was distracted, a bit lost in my thoughts. "Hey? Ri?" Michelle said. I snapped back into reality, lifting my gaze to see the girls staring at me.
"Are you alright?" Stephanie asked concernedly. I nodded.
"Yeah, um, I'm just tired." I told them.
"You've been acting strange for weeks now, ever since that thing with James that neither of you will talk about." Thalia commented.
"Are you sure you're fine?" Giselle questioned again.
"Yeah, positive. Like I said, I'm just tired." I repeated, lowering my gaze to my drink again.
"Seriously though, what's going on between you two? You went from hating each other to almost being friends to wanting to murder each other. It can't be nothing." Amanda pushed.
"There's nothing between us, okay?!" I snapped. The girls fell silent, surprised by my outburst. I sighed again, rubbing my eyes. This whole thing is affecting me a lot more than it should. I feel like my mental health has been diminishing. I've had the craziest mood swings recently. "Sorry. You know, I think I'm gonna go back to the room." I told them, grabbing my purse and standing up. I walked away from them, hearing their concerned 'whispers'. It grew quiet as I got farther from the party, calming me slightly. It was awfully loud and stressful in there. Out here, all I could hear was the clicking of my heels on the floor. I walked through the lobby, heading for the elevators. Everyone who came to Internationals was staying in the hotel connected to the conference centre. It made it easy to get from the room to the competition. The lobby was empty, everyone was at the party. Even the front desk was empty, it looked as though they were on their 15 minute break. I pressed the button for the elevator, hearing a quiet giggling from a hallway to my left. My brow furrowed and I stepped towards it, glancing down to see what it was. But in that moment, my heart stopped. A girl from the Italian team was pressing against the wall, giggling as her hands roamed him. He was kissing her, shoving his tongue in her mouth, biting her lip. He had her right up against him as he groped her ass, growling slightly. Seductively. She moaned, causing him to pull away by a few inches, smirking at her. I let out an unsteady exhale, louder than I'd expected it to be, gaining their attention. The girl simply shot me a look, before turning back to him, a smirk on her face as she began peppering his neck with kisses. He stared at me for a little longer, a blank expression on his face. I heard the 'ding' of the elevator, turning me from them. As I entered the elevator, feeling defeated and numb, I heard him.
"Why don't we take this somewhere a little more private?" James suggested, the girl moaning in response. And then the elevator doors closed and I was once again alone.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I sighed, rolling over in the bed to glance at the clock. 6am. I let out an exhale, shifting to stare up at the ceiling. I've barely slept. I wasn't able to after James with her. I shouldn't care this much. I didn't love him, I don't love him. I told him that. I was the one who ended things. I shouldn't be feeling this jealous. Unless I was wrong..... But I couldn't have been. And even if I was, it's too late now. He'll never forgive me. I have to move on. I glanced over at Michelle beside me. Her, Stephanie and Giselle had come tumbling in here, very drunk, around 2. They won't be up for a few hours. I doubt anyone in A troupe are awake right now. I heard them all stumbling to their rooms well after midnight. The only person who I know ended up in a room before 12 was James. But he was probably up late with that horny bitch of his. I swallowed the lump in my throat. There's no point attempting to sleep anymore. Miss Kate will be banging on the doors for everyone to come to breakfast in 2 hours anyway. I think I just want to be alone with my thoughts for a while. I got up, pulling out a pair of dance shorts and a sports bra, getting changed. I brushed my hair, pulling it into a ponytail, before pulling my running shoes on. I left a note for the girls, saying I'd gone for a run and would be back in a few hours. The I grabbed my phone, earphones, some cash and a keycard, leaving the hotel room. I took the elevator to the lobby, heading outside. It was already warm, which was the nice thing about Miami. I put my earphones in, pressing play on my music and beginning to run. I didn't really pay attention to where I was going or how far I went, nothing felt far enough away from him. I was lucky that it was so early, there was basically no one outside. It was nice. It was therapeutic for me, being alone. Feeling like I was the only person around. I only had my problems to deal with. No one else's. No one else. It was finally I found myself on an unfamiliar beach, the buildings around all looking strange, that I finally stopped running. I bent over, placing my hands on my knees as I breathed heavily, attempting to catch my breath. I was practically dripping in sweat. I hadn't noticed until now. "Hey!" I heard someone say over the loud music playing in my head. I pulled and earphone out, seeing a guy heading over to me. He looked as though he'd been out running too. Except he was not dying like I was. I found myself feeling a little embarrassed by how out of breath I was. Especially since he was incredibly hot. "You shouldn't ever workout with water, you'll get dehydrated." He told me, handing me his water bottle.
"Thank you." I breathed, taking a sip.
"Sorry, I'm just a personal trainer so I can't help myself but get involved sometimes." He stated. I shook my head.
"No. I appreciate it. Thank you." I smiled at him.
"I'm Bryan." He said, holding out his hand for me to shake.
"Riley." I replied, shaking it. I looked around, licking my lips unsurely. "Do you happen to know where we are?" I asked him, causing him to chuckle.
"Not from around here are you?" He asked me. I shook my head.
"I'm here for the Internationals competition." I responded.
"So you're staying at the convention centre hotel?" He questioned. I nodded. "Jesus, how long have you been running? That's 12 miles away." I laughed slightly.
"I don't even know. I was just trying to run as far as I could." I said.
"What are you running from?" He inquired.
"My life." I replied.
"What's going on?" He asked interestedly.
"Oh, I just made some huge mistake and am now punishing myself for it. The guilt is kinda taking over, bringing exhaustion, mood swings, knots in my stomach. That kind of stuff." I shrugged.
"Wow you sound like my sister." Bryan said.
"I'm sorry?" I questioned, a little confused.
"Uh, sorry. I didn't mean it like a bad thing. It's just my sisters been that way recently too and you reminded me of her." He explained.
"Oh. What did your sister do?" I inquired. Maybe she's done the same thing as me. At least then I'm not the only stupid human on this earth.
"She didn't do anything. She's really happy actually. It's her pregnancy that's causes these things." I froze. Pregnancy? But I'm not.... I mean I can't be...... Did I get my period?! Why can't I remember?!
"You know what, it was nice talking to, but I have to get back." I told Bryan, turning and leaving without another word. I heard him call after me, saying goodbye and sounding fairly confused. I started running again until I found the closest pharmacy. I checked the time on my phone. 8:06am. They should just be opening. I walked inside, heading for a certain aisle. I looked at the prices, before the small amount of cash I had on me. Guess I have to go with the cheap one. I grabbed it, walking to the counter to pay. I ignored the disapproving look the older woman was giving me. It's not your life, butt out. At least I'm paying for it, unlike some people. Once I'd bought the test, I went to the stores washroom to take it. The wait was the longest amount of time in my life. I gnawed at my nail nervously, just staring at the upside down test. I was having déjà vu, thinking of when I took a test a little over a year ago. A lot has changed since then though. I'd actually keep the baby now. Maybe James would come back. Maybe we'd be a family. I sighed. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I knew it was true. I'd been wrong. I did love James. That's what made the sex different. The love. It wasn't him taking it slow, or just that he was good. I loved him. That's what made me keep wanting him, that's what had me going back over and over. Why didn't I realize this sooner? I took a breath, reaching to turn the test over. I gasped, tears prickling my eyes. No! This can't be happening! Jesus Christ, I'm 18 and knocked up! I'm gonna have James's baby. And I can't even look him in the eye. I sobbed, dropping the stick, hearing it clatter to the floor. Oh my god, I was drinking last night! Will the baby be okay?! Tears streamed down my face as I worried about how I've potentially already screwed up this baby. I'm a mess. I'm clearly not responsible enough to raise a child, I was drinking while pregnant. I sniffled, trying to pull myself together. I can't keep this to myself. I just can't. I need to tell people. I need to know what to do. I picked up my phone, immediately dialling James's number. I waited for it to ring, praying he'd answer. But it didn't. Instead, I was met with a message telling me my number had been blocked on this phone. I whimpered, covering my mouth as I sobbed again. He hates me. He really hates me. He's not coming back. How stupid am I? Why would I think he'd come back and help me? I'm alone. I'm gonna raise this kid on my own. I'm gonna be an 18 year old single mom. My life is really over. I'm never gonna have time for friends or dates or even just to take a shower. How am I gonna do it? I started hyperventilating, sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor. How am I so stupid?!