The Worst Way to Begin

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Never, and I mean never begin with:

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Or do you want to meet my absolutely lovely middle finger?

It annoys the crab sticks out of everyone, so please, no. No.

Secondly, kindly do not begin with a description of your OC. Sure, you can, but don't exaggerate it until you piss readers off. I think it's cute if the male hero describes her, but I think it will seem absolutely vain if the OC describes herself. Yes, I am not ashamed to admit I did this once, to a story I never published.

Example: hi, my name is (insert name of OC)! I am sixteen years old. I have gorgeous caramel locks that tumbles down my back every time I let my hair down, drop dead astonishing blue orbs, deeper than the ocean, full, plump lips and dimples deeper than Mariana's trench. Today, I'm wearing -

Stop. It. Poseidon's Seahorses, nobody fricking cares.

Hey, Clarisse, do you care?

Frank?

Octavian? Wait, he never cares. Moving on.

Katie?

Connor?

Grover?

I think I made quite a point there.

Third, don't begin with the character waking up and doing her routine.

Don't begin with the OC immediately saying she has a boyfriend who is one if the original characters, or she loves one of them. No.

Example: hi, my name is OC, and I'm a demigod. I'm Percy Jackson's girlfriend, but I love Jason. Don't tell him, Tehehe. I arrived at camp an hour ago, Percy saved me from the strange monster! I'm already in love with Connor Stoll, but oh, well! Leo Valdez asked me out, and I said yes! (Insert dramatic amount if exclamation point.) Unfortunately, my heart belongs to -

Newsflash: you are new here. Nobody will notice you that much, unless you're a monster.

And fifth, nobody wants a magical daughter of two Olympians, and trust me, I've read those schist. And one was the daughter of Artemis. How crazy can you get?

A/N: if any of you know what fanfic I'm talking about, I'm deeply sorry if I offended you I'm any way possible, if you happen to like it.

WeMetAtSix

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