Romancing Rad

Chapter II

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03:00 PM. I am still inside my room. Choosing which clothes will I bring on my vacation na dapat oras na nang pag-alis ko. Hang-over got the best of me, kaya heto ang nangyari. Bukas ng umaga na lang ako aalis. I am bound to Iloilo. Since my cousin referred me to an Island around Carles, Iloilo which is the Gigantes Island. Well, it is not that famous yet. But might as well try my luck in there. And to start my "journey" as what my cousin said, I will be experiencing a once-in-a-lifetime-journey-of-an-ordinary-hooman. So, she got me a Roro Ticket—I think. Iyong kailangan kong sumakay ng barko at bus for like 2 days and a night bago umabot sa pupuntahang destinasyon. It sounds boring and tiring but exciting at the same time.

Tomorrow came. Clad in my black leather pants, loose white shirt and an ankle length boots, nagmamadali akong bumaba ng pier dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Hindi kasi ako sumakay ng bus. I brought my own car. I think pu-puwede namang dalhin ang sasakyan, e. I'll just have to pay for the charge. And thanks God because finally, nakasakay na nga ako! Sa kabila ng maraming tao at magulong paligid, I found serenity in it. Baka marahil sa dagat na nakapalibot. Iyong tipong tititig ka pa lang, kakalma ka na. Though, seriously wala akong place na mauupuan talaga because it's all occupied. Dala-dala ang shoulder bag na may lamang cellphone, wallet at kung anu-ano pang anik-anik, naghanap ako ng mapuwestuhan sa labas ng barko. It's a good thing na may nakita akong bench na walang tao kaya dali-dali akong umupo roon. Nakaharap ito sa railing at sa dagat mismo. It feels so magical. The simplicity made it so magical.

I admit. This travel is so tiring. After traveling by sea, we still have to travel by land to transfer to another ship. It's a good thing that Vera reminded me firsthand that I have to bring foods. Or else, I'll be really really starving right now. I mean, yeah they are also selling foods inside but that won't make me feel full. Since I like fried chicken very much, I brought a one bucket meal of it. A half dozen of canned softdrink, a half dozen of canned coffee, water and pasta. I brought fruits, too! But then, there are passengers—I think who have no food with them or money to buy foods for theirselves, so I got to share my foods with them. Nakakaproud pala sa feeling nang may tinutulungan. Even if it's just a little thing. And also, I got the chance to talk to them like how normal friends talk to each other. To think that we don't know each other's name and such.

After my talk with them, napagdesisyunan kong lumabas at tumambay malapit sa railing ng barko. We are already on our second ride, anyway. Good thing na may space na bench kaya hindi ako nahirapang maghanap ng mauupuan, just like from my first ride. It's already dark, halos lahat ay nakapagdinner na at nagpapahinga. Mabuti na lang at nadala ko ang earphone ko, naisipan kong magpatugtog habang tumatanaw sa karagatan. Nakayuko at pumipili ng kanta sa playlist nang maramdamang parang may nakatitig sa akin. Napangiti pa ako ng makita ang pinakapaborito kong kanta. It's I like you so much, you'll know it. An English cover from a chinese drama—A Love So Beautiful OST. Pagkatugtog ay napatingin ako kaagad sa dagat pero bago ko pa man makita ang karagatan ay nakaabang na sa akin ang matitiim na mata ng isang estranghero. Nakatitig ito sa akin. Marahil sa gulat ay hindi ko nabawi ang aking paningin mula rito.

I like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care
I like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear
I like you more, the world may know but don't be scared
'Cause I'm falling deeper baby be prepared

Though, yes, in my head I am singing the lyrics of the song but as corny as it may sound, I can't keep my eyes off him. Really. The way he looks at me, the way he licks his lips and the way he walks towards my direction—wait, what!?

I like your shirt, I like your fingers, love the way that you smell
To be your favorite jacket, just so I could always be near
I loved you for so long, sometimes it's hard to bear
But after all this time, I hope you wait and see

Napatanga pa ako dahil akala ko ay kakausapin ako nito. You know, the usual fuckboys' moves. But I was wrong. I mean, yes, oo nga at kinausap naman ako nito. He just asked me kung pu-puwede ba raw siyang umupo sa tabi ko. So I just nod my head for an answer though puwede bang sumagot ng: "Puwede ka ring pumasok sa buhay ko."? Hay. Okay, so dahil I think he's snob naman. I just continued listening to my favorite song. Never minding the thump thump of my heart. Iw, I'm starting to get corny na. And conyo at the same time.

Love you every minute, every second
Love you everywhere and any moment
Always and forever I know I can't quit you
'Cause baby, you're the one, I don't know how

I love you 'til the last of snow disappears
Love you 'til a rainy day becomes clear
Never knew a love like this, now I can't let go
I'm in love with you and now you know

Naalimpungatan ako nang may narinig akong parang umuungol sa tabi ko. The first thing that came into my mind is that, I'm in danger! Namatay na pala ang tugtog sa cellphone ko kaya malaya ko nang naririnig ang ingay sa paligid. Sakto at papadaong na rin pala kami. Muntik pang mawala sa isip ko ang umuungol sa tabi ko. Nang tiningnan ko kung ano 'yon, ang mamang pogi lang pala na nakitabi sa akin kanina. I think he's having a nightmare kaya walang pagdadalawang isip ko itong ginising.

"Sir! Gising po. Nananaginip po kayo." Kung hindi lang siguro ito stranger sa kaniya ay kanina niya pa ito sinampal—but why not? Tinampal ko ang aking mukha. 'Huwag, Helcy. Maawa ka sa g'wapong face niyaaa!'

"Sir! Sir, gising po!" Hmm. Ayaw talaga magising, a? "Sir! Maawa po kayo sa sarili niyo! Gumising na po kayo bago pa ako mademonyo. Sayang 'yang mukha niyo kapag sinampal ko. Sir! Sir!"

"Well, ayaw mo talagang magising, a? Okay. You wished for it. Wala akong kasalanan, okay? Okay." Pumikit ako at nagbilang ng tatlo. Kasabay ng paglapat ng kamay ko sa mukha niya ay ang pagbukas din ng kan'yang mata. Napangiwi ako. Patay.

"Hehe." Ani ko at nagpeace sign sa kaniya. Pero kinunutan lang ako ng nuo.

"Why the hell did you slap me!?" Anito sa dumadagundong boses kaya muntikan pa akong mapatalon sa gulat.

Aba't!

"Sorry? Binabangungot ka kasi kaya nasampal kita. It's not like trip ko lang o ano, like duh ang pangit kaya ng ungol mo. It's like you're having sex with a succubus or something. And I tell you, it's not good for the ears. You're tainting my innocent mind, you jerk. And another thing, baka kasi mamatay ka kapag hindi kita ginising, konsensya ko pa? And lastly, bababa na. Diyan ka na kung gusto mo pang matulog, jerk!" Hingal na hingal pa ako habang nakatayo at nakahawak ang magkabilang kamay sa baywang. Napatigil ako sa pag-inhale-exhale nang makita kong nakatanga ito sa akin at nakanganga kaya tinarayan ko nga.

"Ang daldal mo." Parang umakyat lahat ng dugo ko sa ulo ko dahil sa sagot nito. Grr. Sarap lasunin. Pinanlakihan ko nga ng mata.

"Che! Diyan ka na nga!" Nakita ko pang umiling-iling lang ito bago ako tumalikod. Bahala siya r'yan. We're already at Kalibo Port kaya bumababa na ako sa may ilalim na parte ng barko kung saan nakalagay ang kotse ko. While driving, pumasok na naman sa isip ko ang nangyari. It's like nagkaroon ako ng personality na hindi ko alam kung saan galing nang magising ako. I feel like it was so not me but I am also me. Hala! And looking back, hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ako naiinis. But of course, why can't he just thank me for waking him up from his nightmare? Hindi 'yong sasabihan pa ako na madaldal. Hah! Ako madaldal? Tss. What a good way to start my vacation!

Sa sobrang pag-iisip sa mga nangyari, hindi ko namalayang papabangga na pala ako lalaking dumadaan sa gitna ng highway. Agad kong niliko ang sasakyan upang maiwasan sana ang tao but I think I made the wrong choice. Sa matarik na bangin na pala ang punta ko.

Is this the end of my life, already? Ang sagwa naman.

"Lord, please! Don't let me die ugly!" Tili ko pa bago dumilim ang paligid. Mas pipiliin ko pang mahimatay para hindi ko maramdaman kung ano ang feeling ng mamatay.

Mama!