Not a Love Story

Thirty-Four // This Isn't Like That Stupid Book

Oliver Greene

It was late in the afternoon the next day when I knocked on Ben's door, my heart beating and palms sweating. His dad opened the door, a smile on his face as he greeted me.

"Hello, Oliver!"

"Hi Mr. Jones. Is Ben here?" I asked. Mr. Jones nodded and opened the door so I could step in.

"Yes, he's in his room. Feel free to go up." he replied.

"Okay. Thank you, Mr. Jones." I said, heading towards the stairs. I took a deep breath and put my hand on the handle, lightly knocking the door as I opened it.

"Dad I told you I'm working- oh. Oliver." Ben said, turning around in his desk chair to see me.

"Hey." I said, suddenly starting to regret coming in the first place. I shut the door behind me and took a few steps closer to him. "I think we should talk. About yesterday." I said, looking at Ben. He refused to meet my eyes and looked down at the ground.

"I'd really rather not." Ben replied quietly. I felt my heart drop at his words. I bit my lip and nodded slowly.

"Well you may not want to, but I need to. I'm confused and I really just want to sort all of this out." I insisted, carefully sitting down on the edge of his bed. Ben shook his head, still refusing to meet my eyes.

"Oliver, no. I don't want to talk about it. Can we just pretend it didn't happen?" he sighed.

"But it did happen, Ben. And I need to talk about it if this is going to work." I pleaded.

"What's this?" Ben questioned, finally looking over at me. I shrugged slowly.

"I don't know. You and me I guess." I murmured the last part.

"What do you mean you and me?" Ben asked, getting more agitated. I sighed, exasperated.

"What we are, Ben! Friends, something more, I don't know!" I countered, standing up from the bed. Ben scoffed and stood up from his chair.

"This isn't like that stupid book, Oliver." Ben shot.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, feeling my heart sink deeper and deeper into my chest. Ben looked me in the eyes.

"I mean this isn't a love story. Never was, never will be. It was an accident, okay! It shouldn't have happened." Ben retaliated, his voice laced with venom. I bit my lip, feeling a lump in my throat.

"Fine." I choked out. Ben looked at me, his eyes softening slightly as I stood up and headed for the door. "I'll have Mrs. Newsome give you some review sheets for the final so you don't lose your spot on the team." I said, my hand on the handle and tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. "Bye, Ben." I finished, looking up at him one more time before slipping out of his room and shutting the door behind me.

"Leaving so soon?" Mr. Jones asked, sitting on the couch with Mrs. Jones as I reached the last stair. I nodded, trying to will myself to not cry. Not here, not yet.

"I have to get back for dinner. Have a nice night, Mr. and Mrs. Jones." I said, coaxing a small, tight lipped smile as I waved to them and walked out of the house. I quickly got into the car, locking it and trying to breathe.

I put the keys into the ignition as the tears started and placed my shaking hands on the steering wheel. I needed to get away from here. Just anywhere but here. I drove with tears streaming down my face, blurring my vision. I stopped at a stop light, trying to get myself to calm down. My body was wracked with sobs, making it increasingly difficult to focus on the road.

The light turned green and I continued home, trying to hold in sobs as I turned into the driveway. I turned off the car, suddenly engulfed in the sudden stillness and quiet of the night. A deep, painful loneliness set into me. I finally let the sobs out, dropping my head onto the steering wheel.

I felt the tears stream down my face, dripping onto the steering wheel. I vaguely heard the garage door open and someone say my name. The driver side door opened.

"Oliver? Honey, what's wrong?" my mom asked, worry heavy in her voice. She kneeled down next to me, placing a hand on my back. I immediately turned to her and wrapped my arms around her, still too wracked with sobs to get words out. "Oh, honey. It's okay. Everything will be okay." she soothed, rubbing my back as she spoke. I shook my head.

"It won't." I whispered, my voice raspy and heavy from crying.

"Let's go inside. You'll be more comfortable there." I nodded and she helped me out of the car, closing the door behind me and closing the garage.

I sat on the couch and she sat down next to me, offering me a tissue as I sat there and continued to cry.

"What's going on, sweetie?" my mom gently asked. I shook my head, unable to form the words. "It's okay, you can tell me anything. Whenever you're ready, okay?" she replied. I nodded and leaned my head on her shoulder.

"I really like someone." I whispered, the sobs beginning to subside. "A-and I thought maybe they liked me too. W-when I tried to talk to them about it-" I paused, sadness washing over me. "It didn't go well." I finished, choking on the words. My mom nodded and gently rubbed my back.

"It's hard to admit how you feel to someone. Especially when you really care for them." she comforted. I slowly nodded.

"Yeah." I agreed, my limbs feeling numb and my heart shattered. "I knew it too, that's the worst part." I choked out, a new wave of tears rolling over me.

"What do you mean, sweetie?" she pushed, lightly rubbing my back.

"I knew it would never work out. Bu-but then he kissed me and it made me think, just for a second, maybe he felt the same way." I whispered. My mom wrapped her arms tighter around me.

"You know I love you no matter what, right?" she said. I nodded, my heart suddenly dropping with the realization of what I'd just said.

"I-I-" I stammered.

"It's okay, sweetheart." she whispered, hugging me tighter. "Can I ask one question?" she prompted after a moment of silence. I nodded apprehensively. "Is it Ben?" she asked, my heart skip a beat at the mention of his name. I nodded again, a tear rolling down my cheek. She smiled at me. "I had a feeling." she said, making my eyes quickly meet hers.

"What?" I asked, shocked. She lowly chuckled.

"Whenever anyone mentioned him you'd blush. He may not have noticed, but I did." she smiled. I covered my face with my hands.

"God. Was it that obvious?" I muttered, embarrassed.

"Only if you were looking for it. But I could also tell by the way you look at him. Your eyes light up and he always makes you smile, simply by being there." she finished. I nodded, a deep sadness in my chest.

"Yeah, I guess he did." I whispered, dropping my head onto her shoulder, silent tears rolling down my cheek as my eyes grew heavy.