5 AM Thoughts

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"space in space"

Time is like tight jeans in space.

Space is me except the never-ending stars.

I watched myself as gravity pulls me in different directions; it suffocated me.

Would it be better if there were lesser black holes?

Unsure how I got away; I cannot say I escaped.

Like the little prince, I visited worlds I have never been before hoping to find what I am looking for: happiness.

I see the curve on their faces as they look at my darkness.

I see how they ignored the fact that there were no stars at all at least in my vision.

I did not seem to fit in for I've been pushed away.

I don't know if they push me farther world after world 

or is the heavy of my heart lighter in their worlds?

There I realized I was nothing like the little prince.

 I am just me; I am just... space.

Time is like tight jeans in space.

Space is me; expect the never-ending darkness.

I watched myself as gravity pulls me out of the worlds in line, and in one certain direction this time as I can tell. It did not suffocate me.

There weren't lesser black holes.

They were fixed in line as I unconsciously made my way towards the tight jeans.

Legs extended close to me as if it was a hand, "It's time,"

I swam away on my back after it had moved closer than it had never been before; heartbeat loud in my chest as fear consumed me.

I turned my back from the tight jeans this time to focus on swimming away.

"Please," was the only thing I can say.

I watched as the worlds turn its back on me without meeting my gaze.

Don't they see me? Don't they remember me?

"They were bound to experience the heat and the light to live." Says someone behind me. "As for you, you are bound to blend only in darkness."

There were no chances of escape this time; the black holes encircled around the tight jeans and me.

There is nothing I can do but to face it.

 "The happiness you seek is the happiness I give." The words I believed.

As soon as I faced the jeans, there was no gravity.

Fear subsided. I wonder if it's the existence of gravity I fear or is it the word "happiness" that relaxes me?

I voluntarily moved closer to the jeans.

"Lead me to happiness."

The tight jeans turned into another black hole which seems to be a portal somewhere.

In there I saw...

No worlds.

No stars.

No light.

No gravity.

...Nothing.

But I feel something.

Maybe...

Maybe this is happy.