Your Guide to Writing Percy Jackson Fanfiction

demi-gods react to what not to do

i'm sorry i'm running out of ideas

Installment I
Percy: This might be worse than Tartarus if it starts like this.
Leo: Can anybody actually read Roman numerals?
*Piper, Jason, Annabeth, Frank, and Hazel raise their hands*
Leo: You get my point.

Hi, my name is Mackenzie Stephanie Brittany Shimmer Crystal Smith. Jason: We've found the winner for the longest name, beating Reyna by a landslide. I have a horrible life!!! My dad hates me for some reason and my mom is dead :((((((
Leo and Jason: Welcome to the club.

I woke up on my 999 feather mattress- Piper: I'm the literal daughter of a millionaire and I don't have that. -and started crying because my life was so bad and I was so ugly. Annabeth: Not part of most people's morning routine, but okay. I looked at my long, wavy, soft, strawberry blonde hair, and my sky blue eyes, and my K cup chest... I'm so ugly Percy: Yeah... how much are we getting paid for this again?
I went downstairs to eat my usual breakfast of cake and ice cream, my dad smiling at me as I ate. Leo: HAH I FREAKING WISH! OMG HE'S SO MEAN
"Good morning, my little princess! I hope your sleep was as pleasant as your day is going to be," He said. Nico: Gods, I would kill for a dad like that. Percy: Wait, how did you even get in here? I started crying in my cake. "Why do you hate me?!!?!!??" He sighed, leaving the room. I hate him so much, he never treats me with any respect! Percy: As someone who had an abusive father... get out.
Later, he drove me to school in our Bugatti. We're so poor, I hate my life! Literally everyone: Oh my Gods. I got out and kicked the door on the way out, ignoring my dad as he spat at me.
"Have a fantastic day at school, baby!" :(( Annabeth: I'm pretty sure emoticons aren't proper grammar.

I said hi to my best friend, Shaniqualemanakila, Hazel: Sounds like something a boy in my old life would call me. while every guy in school offered to carry me to my class. Jason: Gods, no, I'd never carry a full-sized teenager to every class. Are these 15-year-old bodybuilders? I said yes, but I'm so shy and quirky!!!! Frank: These girls annoy me to no end, there are tons of them in the city.
Just then, a woman with snake hair tried to kill us!!! Even though I've had no dueling experience, I killed her with no trouble, but then almost fainted because... well, I have to! Grover: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EFFORT IT TOOK TO KILL HER?
A boy leaned over me, hugging me as I finally fainted. The boys: Please don't tell me that's me.

When I woke up, I got out of bed and nobody stopped me (even though I was just attacked)- Nico: I wish Will would let me do that. That'd be great.- to see this beautiful camp. Somehow, I was instantly claimed by Zeus and everybody cheered for me!! Jason: Trust me, you don't want to be a kid of Zeus- or Jupiter. Just then, Percy came up to me and kissed me instantly!! Percy: Where's Hera? Annabeth: Piper, Percy, you're going to need to hold me back. OMG!!! Annablegh came up soon and tried to attack Perry, but I attacked her because she's a meanie. Percy: Is Mr. D narrating this? Frank: I wouldn't call Annabeth a "meanie" necessarily. She fell crying like the crybaby she is and then Percival and I made out. Percy: *deep inhale* Where are the Huntresses?

Later at dinner, some redhead started spewing green smoke and recited the following:

A Mary Sue daughter of Zeus shall save the universe Hazel: I don't think I've met Rachel, but she seems like the most sensible in this.

My dad desperately wants to buy me a new purse

Is this supposed to be a haiku?

Apollo, I think, might want to kill you Will: I'm not even Apollo and I want to kill you.

Go on a quest with the seven

Even though there's only three allowed

And watch as Leo becomes obnoxiously loud Leo: Aw. Annabeth: Well, you are obnoxiously loud. Leo: Yeah, but charmingly loud.

Everyone was silent for a second, and then cheered again (because just frick minor characters like Katie, Travis and Connor, Malcolm, Clarisse, etc) -Piper: Sound the alarm, she's become self-aware.- and we left immediately in the morning.
When we got ready to leave, Leo was fixing the ship, Piper was writing fanfiction- Piper: Despite popular belief, I have never written fanfiction. Big shock.- about Percy and me, Annabeth was grumbling about me, and Jason was standing there like a brick. Huh?? Frank and Hazel? Never heard of 'em. Frank and Hazel: Well, that's good as saying jump into Tartarus.

We set off for a great adventure, Percy and I kissing as we set off!! Percy: *deep shudder* I think I need to go lay down. Everybody else: *murmurs in agreement* Will: I'll order some pizza, let's go lay down in the infirmary.
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Hope you enjoyed! The demi-gods definitely didn't. I might torture them with another chapter soon enough, but not now.
That's it for now, cya.
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Have a cliche you want me to cover? Leave a comment! Or, just drop in to say hi.