My Little Christmas Carol

Mellarky in 12

I decided that I would go and visit Katniss and Peeta today. I've been so busy with moving into my house that I don't have a lot of time to visit with people.

I am lying in bed and wondering how much the kids changed since the last time I saw them. Will they be the same? Will they be a little different? More mature? Less mature? Will Haymitch finally decide to get out of his house and socialize? Dang it! It happened again! My thoughts always seem to end with the one and only Haymitch...

I get up and walk to my dresser where I pull out some jeans and a maroon long sleeve shirt. I put them on and walk to the kitchen. There, I make a cup of coffee. This is the moment I realize I'm just staring out the window. Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason I am here and a reason why I am the way I am. There was a reason for the games. There was a reason for a war. And now, while looking at the snow covered mountain tops, there is a reason why I feel the way I feel.

I finish my coffee and grab my white coat and scarf. I head out the front door and make my way towards their house.

I knock.

Peeta answers the door and gives me a warm welcome: "Hey Effie! How's the start of the season going for ya?"

"It's been really good thank you." I respond. "And how about the kids?"

Just as I say it, Kirstin and Rye come running up to me, giving me a huge hug. "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" I say to them while I'm still in their embrace.

Kirstin says, "We are great! We just set up the Christmas tree and lit candles around the house and now it smells like gingerbread cookies!"

I laugh and step away. As I walk inside, I give Peeta and Katniss a hug too.

I've been here for about 2 hours and now the kids have gone upstairs, and I have alone time with Katniss and Peeta to talk. Peeta speaks first: "Have you been adjusting well?"

"It's been pretty fine in that sense."

I get the interpretation that they don't believe a single word coming out of my mouth.

"Is there anything that we can do for you? Is there anyone helping you now or?"

"To be honest there isn't anyone in my life right now besides you, and no, you really do not need to help. I'm fine thank you."

It's pretty awkward. Sitting here, trying to be polite, but most probably failing. It's like I'm in the Capitol again, just not quite.

Katniss speaks next: "So, you haven't seen Haymitch?"

My heart skips a beat when she says his name, but I push it aside in hopes of getting off the subject matter: "No, I actually haven't. Have you?" I ask hopefully. I want to know if Haymitch has actually gone outside or socialized.

"No."

My heart sinks. And this moment I make a promise to myself that I will visit him... I am. I will.