Legally Black [COMPLETE]

1: break my heart on your ambition

Yves Gates was ambitious. Not the kind of ambitious that impressed the admissions board at Howard or that would get her a hero's welcome at Phi Kappa Phi, but she wanted things. She wanted a house big enough for herself, her family, and her three dogs. She wanted an apple green convertible. And she wanted Loren Wiley to love her forever.

In that order.

*

The Summer Before:

Loren took Yves to their favorite spot on the sea wall to put her out to pasture.

The sand was mealy and wet under their bare toes. The air was salty, humid. The seagulls were having a family reunion over a feast of unfortunate fish. The girls had gumbo from the place they had their first date and split a big foam cup of lemon iced tea. Yves was thinking of stealing Loren's half of the slice of pineapple upside down cake they'd bought to share when Loren dropped a bomb on her.

"I think we should see other people."

"What you mean?"

"What I said, dumbo." She bumped Yves' shoulder with a smile on her face, but Yves wasn't smiling.

"You joking?"

"Nah." Loren tossed her fishtail braid over her shoulder. "It's just...you know we been doing this for two years and it's been good, but..." She kissed her teeth. "I don't think it's going anywhere."

"Where's it supposed to be 'going,' Loren?" Dating was dating. They were dating, and Yves had thought they were happy.

"I don't know, somewhere? My daddy was asking me what you're doing after graduation next year and I didn't know what to tell him. My auntie asked me the same thing. Everybody's always asking. I know where I'm going, what I'm doing, where I'm applying, what I'm majoring in and you just—you don't have any plans, Yvey." Loren had said the same thing during the school year when Loren had stayed up till all hours doing scholarship apps and Yves had been helping her cousin install his Pepto pink box braids.

"I told you I was figuring it out. I've got time."

Loren shrugged. "Maybe you do, but, girl, I can't be waiting for you to figure yours out. I don't want to be here in a year building my plans around the ones you don't have. That's not what life's about."

"Wow," Yves said, stunned. "You wildin' out, right now. Is this a joke, Loren? Are you for real?"

"I'm for real and I need somebody who's for real, too. I want somebody who's going places and the only place you're going is back home." Loren started picking up the trash from their picnic so it wouldn't blow down the beach. "I knew that, but I liked you anyway."

Yves stared at her girlfriend of two years who was suddenly just not anymore.

"You're just tossing me out," she asked, voice garbled as the waves rolling in at high tide.

"I'm doing me so you can do you. Sorry."

"Sorry?" Like this wasn't the coldest conversation they'd had since Loren asked to borrow Yves' pen and her phone number if she had it handy. "That's cool, I guess."

"Do you need a ride home?"

"Not from you." Yves shoved her feet back into her sandals and grabbed the last half of the cake Loren hadn't packed up. She deserved that much for her pain. She was going somewhere for sure, away from here.