Looking at You

10

Brownies.

Three months later or really, what seemed like the blink of an eye.

I must confess that anyone can call me a jack of all trades and master of none. But anyway, I am an expert at nothing. I never really completed anything with complete efficiency. Here is a thing becoming successful or perfect at anything requires time and effort, but I am too hasty for that.

That was a late evening, Old Ed Sheeran song, 'thinking out loud' played in the background, as I chopped up the chocolate and put it in a microwave-safe bowl with the butter. I am not the most excellent cook, but I love to feed people. So, I had decided it would be nice to make some homemade brownies for my colleagues. And I was softly singing along, "Oh me, I fall in love with you every single day.

And I just wanna tell you I am..."

I smiled suddenly, picturing Sankalp tasting the brownies too. And realized how nothing would make me happier the next day than that. Failing to understand and respect the limitation, I picked up my phone and WhatsApp to Sankalp.

Me: I am bringing little brownies for everyone... is it ok if I bring for you too.

After one or fewer minutes of anxious waiting, my phone buzzed, and it was a reply from Sankalp.

Him: Yea, yea nice... I will try too

In a short burst of happiness, I jumped; my heart began beating so rapidly that I could hear the blood thumping through my ears.

Not letting the excitement ruined everything, I typed a straightforward reply.

Me: okay

....................

Next morning

My bag was heavy with the Tupperware containers filled with brownies and one small plastic box but with a bigger piece of brownie separately for Sankalp.

The first person I met that morning was Sara. She knew I was bringing brownies from everyone.

Not a morning greeting, but a stupid question that was the first thing that came out of my mouth, "Sankalp didn't come, right?"

Sara raised her dark eyebrows, and a smirk travelled across her features, the smirk then turned into a grin. Finally, it burst into a full-blown smile. "He came! In fact, quite early", Sara said, pointing to him. He had a laptop on his thighs, and his brown eyes were focused hard on whatever was on the screen.

" Should I go and give it to him directly or give it Vijay sir and ask him to give it to Sankalp?" I asked.

She pondered it a moment, and then responded, "Give it to Vijay, sir!"

I sighed and stuck my lip out in a dramatic pout, "I want to give it to Sankalp." She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as if she didn't care either way.

I walked towards Sankalp, counting my steps along the way, making sure I didn't do it way too quickly; I was holding on the box so tightly that my knuckles were white.

I walked until I stood beside his chair on the side of the desk; I was evidently waiting for him to acknowledge me.

After a second or two, he understood my presence, so I looked up. His eyebrows sort of scrunched together, but then he smiled. His teeth were perfectly straight and pearly white. His lips were thin, soft, and lay across his teeth flawlessly.

I held out my hand, he cautiously took it from me. He acknowledged my brownies with the briefest of smiles in return. "I will share it with all the managers."

"No!" I said aloud and hurriedly. "I have two other Tiffin boxes for everyone," I became immediately calmer as I realized my previous tone. His two big brown eyes stared back at me, surprised and unsure, his head nodding anyway.

Throughout the day, I found myself thinking but never really understood if he had eaten the brownies or not.

The first thing I did when I reached home was to message him asking.

Me: Did you have the brownies???

Within a minute or max two minutes, a reply message came back from Sankalp. It read. Yes, yes, I did! It was amazing! Everyone liked it very much, thanks.

Stupidly, I send another message saying. Ohh great... I thought you didn't... Welcome

And one more message that I really should not have, it was kind of crossing the limit, but it was like my intelligence wasn't working at all that day. "I am just so glad that you liked it."

He replied to my text with a smiley emoji.

Even I didn't know why, but a hopeful smile was spreading across my face. Until my inner self, the more practical one of us spoke to me, "You know the old saying; the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Ya," I said, nodding, smiling to myself now.

"Don't be dumb enough to believe that bullshit!" the voice in her mind commented.

"I never said I am doing this to get his heart, and it was for everyone!" I sounded like I was trying to give justification to something that couldn't really be justified.

"If only that is true!" Then the voice was gone like a snap of fingers, and my mind went blank with the sudden void feeling. I tossed and turned long into the night and slept severely when it finally came.