Barnaby Lee x Reader - Year 5

Mundungus...who?

The next day, Lana made her way to Hogsmeade to visit Zonko's and meet Bilton. She wasn't surprised to see Tulip and Tonks browsing the shop, probably looking for their next big prank.

"Mrs Lee! What brings you to our humble abode?" Tonks joked.

"Ha-ha. Good to see you too, guys." she chuckled, "I'm here to see Bilton. Hopefully he can tell me about Duncan Ashe."

"Ah! The most mischievous trio in the wizarding world has returned to Zonko's Joke Shop!" Bilton cheered, approaching the girls.

"I actually came here to ask you a few questions..." Lana told the man kindly.

"Ah, you see! I've always known you were well on your way to becoming a true master of mirthful disaster!"

"I just wanted to ask you about a former Hogwarts student named Duncan Ashe. I think he used to shop here..." Lana said again.

"He did indeed. Always requesting the strangest things...I'll explain this further after assisting this customer who has been patiently waiting for a state-of-the-art Biting Doorknob." the man smiled, before walking over to the customer.

The girls browsed the shops for a little while, before they saw the man looking at a box that was sitting on his desk.

"Some people thing fingers are overrated..." he muttered, opening the box.

Out flew a Fanged Frisbee. "Ahhh!" he yelled.

After that, two more frisbees shit out of the box! "Triple ahhh!" he yelled again.

The frisbees flew over to the other side of the shop and just hovered in the air.

"Why are the Fanged Frisbees just hovering like that?" Tulip wondered.

"They do that sometimes. If you value your cranium, I suggest you keep completely still..." Bilton answered.

"I'll try to find the right time to blast these things..." Lana said.

"Be careful. Destroying them in the proper order is paramount to preserving your noggin..." the man said, as the girls pulled out their wands.

They managed to destroy them all using "Bombarda!".

"Yes! You did it!" Bilton cheered, "There was something you wanted to ask?"

"You seem very accident-prone. How are you still alive?" Lana asked, baffled.

"Years ago, I sipped from an ancient chalice that granted me the gift of immortality."

"Really?!" Lana asked in shock.

"No, but last week I drank Belch Powder from a bucket, so...pretty close." he chuckled.

"Will you tell me about Duncan Ashe now?" she asked politely.

"Of course. It's the least I can do in return for keeping my head attached to my neck..." he started, "Duncan Ashe was a talented mischief-maker with an unmistakable mean streak. He was also quite brilliant. He would buy items from the shop, deconstruct them, and put them back together in delightfully destructive ways. He was continually pushing the limits of everything. Jokes, potions, the very rules of Hogwarts..." he listed.

"Do you know what happened between him and my brother?"

"Knowing those two, and his unfortunate fate, I can in,y assume it was something both fantastic and catastrophic. I suppose the only ones who know the whole story are Duncan, the Headmaster, and your brother..."

The girls thanked the man and left the shop, and Lana asked Tulip to go with her to Jacob's room.

"We should probably bring Merula as well. She knows that room well, so she could be useful..."