the forbidden strangers

falling//harry styles

its sort of a weird kind of world we live in, for instance look at me, im finding comfort amongst complete strangers.

its Friday night and im alone in the club. i know, who goes to the club alone?
what kind of girl even puts herself in this kind of position visiting the club alone. like literally its dangerous.

for one, im running away from home. like no thought in my mind right now can fanthom how it hurts losing someone so close to you. in the club everything is flashy, everyone is pretending.
we are all happy and thats the sort of comfort i need right now.

secondly it sucks being at home with a widowed mother who acts as if everything is rainbows and sunshine when her husband is gone. dad's been away for quite some time. not the type of, im on a business trip with my collegue Susan and forgot about my family.
its the kind of, i passed away unexpectedly. one moment dad was driving us home. me and him from a barbecue and the next we are in a car crush because of a drunken driver.
at least i can say that his death was quick because he was out cold before help arrived.
basically how long my mom mourned his death. but im not here to give introductions to my life, im here to get drunk and forget.

live your life is booming in the club and im screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs with a gin and tonic in my hands.

"So live your life, ay, ay, ay.
You steady chasing that paper.
Just live your life, oh, ay, ay, ay"

"you better go steady with that drink missy", someone breathes down my neck.
my head shots in the direction. "sir i think its best if you just mind your damn business, im not bothering nobody", i shout back at the guy. he really has some nerve coming up from behind me to tell me what to do.
clearly im not feeling safe around this guy but not to show him how he intimidated me a few seconds ago, i gulp my drink and hand him the empty glass and continue swaying to the song.

he mutters something rude but eventually leaves. my heart sorts of races because boy who wouldn't be. he has that look of ye ol red neck with tattoos and all funny sorts of piercings. not one to judge people's choice of attire but if another biker walks up to me im out of here.

instead of looking for attention (which will be hard because im literally dressed in
camo pants and a sort of longish cropped top sweater. not club attire but don't judge me, i was in a hurry. my mom literally pushed me to the edge with her nagging. always asking me when im getting out of the house.
my mom is not an easy woman, don't mind me, she did an amazing job raising me and my brother abel but i dont appreciate how hot and cold she is towards me. the death of my father brought an undeniably strong pain that to this day it takes so much energy from me. like we all were affected by his death and we all changed. if i am honest ill rather have it my mom than my dad go.

i moved my way to the front of the public bar, Austin the bartender here went to school with me. i try to make conversations with him when i reach my stool.
"its already 12 and you're still looking fresh for the job, how do you manage? seriously i need your secret"

"if im being honest with you, a proper breakfast, no sleep and some coke but im not the guy so ill just dish out how life sucks and it keeps me moving"

"well things got really up and personal there buddy"

austin starts laughing, "you always crack me up, im surprised you're not crazy by now"

i start laughing too, he hands me another drink and without flinching i down it.

"austin go easy on her"

he starts laughing while cleaning up his glasses, "a lady gets what she wants buddy"

"well a lady knows how to take care of herself mister" i say laughing then yawning.

tall mister handsome gets up from his chair and offers his hand, "would you mind joining me on the dance floor?"

"nah, i came from there just now. the creep breathed down my neck and asked me to go steady with my drink"

browned eyed mister laughs but does not take no for an answer, "come on they are playing my favorite song"
laughingly i grab his hand and follow trailing behind him.

a upbeat tune starts to play & i cant help but sway my hips to the music. he seems pleased by my reaction to his favorite song, not a second goes by without him taking his eyes off me.
i feel suddenly so important, wanted and even... happy. i lose myself in the song, with my head tilting back, it feels like im about to fall but his hand are on my waist so i know im safe.

we dance like this for a very long time when i hear him say, "its getting late, lets get out of here".

wise enough to know its not safe leaving with this guy, im old enough to know that im able to take care of myself.
on our way to his place troy sivan midsong starts playing.
'even if i run away, & give my heart a holiday, still strawberries & cigarettes always taste like you'

"here we are", he concludes as he steps out of his red convertible & walks over to my door.
i thank him & follow him to the most posh place ive ever seen in a very long time.

inside the floors are lined with marble from top to bottom. not wanting to embarrass myself i pretend to be unfazed by how gorgeous his home looks.
although homes may look incredible on the inside, it tends to be quite empty. & that is what this home looks like, modern but empty. it doesn't have character to say that someone spends a lot of time here.
not even letters or keys. it just looks picture perfect.

i follow him up to his room & we make ourselves comfortable. without wasting any time my eyes falls shut from all the dancing & drinking that took place.