goodnight & go//ariana grande

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bored here i sit. still beyond wonder, beyond my comfort. a book rests on my lap as i flap the pages with each read.

who knew that the silence could be so stifling. far on the outskirts of new york the morning bustle already started. it's sort of weird how whenever my mind buzzes still i start to think of him.

what if i look him up on facebook?

he looks like a jacob or a erin but erin seems a bit far fetched. how can i search him on Facebook without a name. wow, i palm my face. how do i search him with location active??

next i go on to the local club's Facebook page to see if he used them as a tag but i come up empty. i sigh heavily. geez, how hard can it be to look up someone?

as soon as i put my phone down, it starts to vibrate.
max

"heyy, what's up?"
"just checking up on you"
"im actually bored, this book ive been reading is hurting my eyes plus everyone isn't home", i sigh.
"why not come over? look, my family us having this pool party something something", he says.

i hestitate, i know that stupid brax collins is going to be there. family does include him after all.

"urh yeah, that sounds fun!", i add a bit too excited.

"cool, ill fetch you in 30 minutes?"
"cool", then i hang up.

the collins lives in a very, let's say comfortable home here in brooklyn. quite too comfortable. but besides there state of lavish living, they are really nice people. not pesky if you ask me.

i get dressed in a fabulous sun dress with sunglasses resting on top of my head & sandals. my father never really approved of the lifestyle people live around here especially when it came to dress codes for women. because of the culture & religion my dad came from, arabic women had to dress with modesty.

im not too impressed with what im wearing but i add a bit of make up & decide to change into a long sleeved dress & my sketchers.

i send abel a text message to let him know that ill be at max because i know that Sunday's my mom works late because of her sales position.

in the car with max my mind drifts off to that weird interaction with my mom the other night. my mom totally acted a bit out of character.

"i hope that you & brax don't bump heads today", max adds.

"no worries, im staying far away from him today"

max just chuckles & continues to bop his fingers on the wheel.

"so elize?", i ask.

"she couldn't make it, she said she is running erands for her mom", i note the glimpse in his eyes as he says this.

i never really noticed but looks like something is brewing between max & elize. like all of the sudden elize stops flirting with guys & her tales of her awkward Saturday night encounters stops. wow

we pull up to the posh strip of driveway. i straighten my dress & ask, "how do i look?"

"if you're trying to impress braxton, you look good, he likes black"

i shake my head, "oh wow maxi, that ship has sailed. im just asking if your mom will like this"

"sure adia, sureeeee"

i laugh & shake my head. one thing is for sure, im done impressing brax. that ship has really sailed.

walking through the back yard, its littered with kids playing in the pool. aunties standing near the snack table & the uncles over at the bbq stand. soft music plays from the new sound system mr. collins ordered from online. i greet some members i know & the others i dont i give off a shy smile.

the atmosphere seems warm & happy. one i hardly see because of the split of families.
a little girl not older than 3 runs up to me & gives me a flower then shyly runs back to her cousins. i smile warmly.

ive missed many of max's family functions due to brax. i avoided this house for so long because of awkward moments with him.
over by the ping pong table i see brax play with a older cousin.
his hair look wet like he just came back from a swim with the kiddies.
he looks over to me & wave. i wave back
.

___

as day turn into night, everyone shuffles closer to the fire. roasting marshmallows & the older men sharing a beer or too.
i smile with content.

"thank you for bringing me here today", i say to max.

"anytime adia", he smiles & hugs me.

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