the forbidden strangers

smiling when i die//sasha sloan

once i got inside i couldnt stop crying, here i am back into this place of inferno. im called max & elize, my best friends on skype.

"so you're telling me that you partied with the guy, got to his place & slept over & never thought about asking his name!?", elize shouts.

"i know, classic dumb move like we hardly introduced ourselves, guys basically this guy..
it felt like i knew him for a long time, it felt natural. it was like we didn't have the need to introduce ourselves", i say. thinking about it now, im so stupid.

max chuckles, he hasn't said a word about it. its like he wants to add his opinion but he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

"max?", i ask.

dumbfounded he shakes his head then adds, "look by the way you're talking about him i can tell you sort of have some type of feeling about him, but adia its not safe jumping into cars with strangers. its not like you."

so his not jealous, his just trying to protect me. i think his worried that im changing. max hates change. like ocd type of change.

" oh max give adia a break! she never goes out for goodness, plus she is 20", elize chuckles. elize is the rebel of our click. she isn't afraid to express herself, to hell nothing ever stopped her from doing anything.

"babe i just get some rest & we will talk about this later okay, forget about max", adds elize.
max sighs heavily gripping the bridge of his nose, shakes his head & leaves the video call.

whatever.

"talk about dramatic hey", i say nervously.
me & elize exchange goodbyes & i log off.
_____

around 1 in the afternoon im back at work, i work in a coffee shop called Moon Cafe. new yorks finest.

my mind drifts off to the guy from the club & vividly my mind plays picture of him.
his dyed black hair, his pale skin & rosy cheeks. the way freckles dots over his skin.
i think about the grizzly stubble that lined his jaw & how often i found him licking his lips.

for crying out loud i have to stop! hot liquid burns my skin just thinking about him. oh gosh its coffee!
"im so sorry about that sir"
i just burned myself with coffee serving an elderly man. frantically i wipe off the coffee from myself & clear his table. brax collins.
here to save the day. my coworker brax jumps in to clean up the table. luckily the man never got burned or anything.

"go clean up yourself before jamie sees this", brax says.

after cleanimg myself up, i go back into the kitchen to fix up a cup of coffee. i find brax there talking to the cook buster.
he turns & starts talking to me, "its okay i handled it"

"thank you for the extra hand, i dont know where my mind was", i say.

"yeah where was your mind Adia??", brax snorts.

he really has the nerve to save my but & still think about asking me so much questions? like dude i appreciate the extra hand but i don't appreciate you prying into my private life. im getting really frustrated just thinking about it.

me & brax were on the verg of being really good friends when he started this job. at the beginning of the year he was quite new here & i showed him the ropes. i was the reason why he started here in the first place.
brax is related to max, my best friend & when he moved in with them everyone tried to get us together because i never had a boyfriend. turns out brax just used me to get this job because jamie, the boss of Moon Cafe is my mom's best friend. after hanging out after a few times, brax just dropped me like a hot potato.
i dislike him so much but either way...

"thank you for saving my butt out there braxton", i say & i get back to work.
___

my shift is about to end so i manage to clean up a few tables & the counters. after filling the coffee pot, the shakers & straw dispenser max & elize calls me to ask if i would like to visit the club to see if the brown eyed guy is there.

"guys sounds like a great idea, im still at the cafe but im om my way out now"

"okay get done & pick us up?", elize asks.
"it's okay, we can just use my car", max says.

"wait, elize are you at max's??"

"yeah we decided to chill"

"oh okay, i will get you guys there", i reply then hang up.
___

after getting dressed & refreshed, this time i want to make a good impression once i see him.

i head over to the club. after the bouncer allows me in, i head over to the bar knowing very well that i will find max & elize there.

from the distance i notice max's pastel pink hair in the distance & elize's way of expression whenever she is in a conversation. her head flops back with laughter as max explains something.

my heeled boots clicks & their heads turns to meet the sound. "hey you two, looking cozy aren't we?", i ask using elize's voice.
they both start laughing & stands up to give me a hug.

"looking good girl", elize says taking in my outfit. tonight im wearing a creamy long sleeved romper with thigh high black boots. my hair is pulled into a bun with my curly hair flying out of it. i look neat.

i thank her. immediately i look around the lounge as to where i might see the brown eyed stranger but at this time the club is booming with a mass of bodies pumping to the bass.
there is way too many people out tonight. after all it's Saturday night.

after getting our drinkings we split up, max goes to the men's restroom, elize the lounge & i examine the dance floor. not looking to suspicious i try to enjoy the music & move my body to the rhythm. my heart pounds & the air thickens due to the mass of people surrounding me.

unlike last night, this is the scene that i sought-after but tonight i have other motives in mind.

after a very long time my body tires out & my feet aches so i go back to the bar to meet up with the rest. the barman gives me a cocktail & i sip respectively.
"anything?" i ask out of breath.
they both shake their heads giving me sad looks.

"its okay guys, we tried, lets finish up & leave"

not being in the mood to hang out after. i make up an excuse that im tired & in my car i sadly drive home.
___

once home, exhaustion takes hold of me. i slip off my heel boots at the door & leave my car keys in the key bowl. laughter & chatting fills the fowyer, something foreign to this house. in the tv room i catch a glimps of my mom chatting over the telephone.

not having the energy to face her, i grab a fruit from the kitchen & head up to my room for the night.