Toxic

Chapter 47

Song of the chapter From the dining table by Harry Styles

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I've been in here long enough, Blake might come looking for me soon.

I wash my hands when my breathing has some what normalized and I decide to head out of the restroom again.

Once I do, I feel my arm being grabbed and my body is being pulled to the side in a secluded corner.

Blake?

My back is being pressed up against a wall and I've got my eyes shut since I can smell the perfume.

Not Blake.

I have a feeling that I can't look at who ever has me pinned right now.

I have a feeling I know exactly who it is.

He's still holding my wrist in his hand, so delicately that I almost don't feel it.

But it burns like fire.

"I didn't think it was you" He says and I feel my whole body tense at the sound of his voice.

He's speaking so softly and his dark accent is thick.

Breath, Mila. Breath dammit!

He sounds like he really doesn't believe he's seeing me.

The hand that's not holding my arm touches my face and I melt completely into his touch.

His thumb strokes under my eye and that's when I feel that he's wiping away an escaped tear from my eye.

"Please look at me" He whispers sadly, pleading with me.

I bite my lip harshly to try and not break down right here and now because I feel like that's exactly what I could do.

He's here.

I slowly open my eyes and meet his hazel ones.

They look so fucking sad, it's breaking my heart all over again.

Zayn smiles softly and he releases a long breath.

"You're really here" He lets out in disbelief and grabs my face with both of his hands.

I can't say I'm not happy to hear his voice.

"I'm here" I whisper whilst exhaling, "I'm here, Zayn"

His body seems to relax at the sound of my voice.

"I'm so- we need to talk, please will you let me talk?" He begs and stares deeply into my glassy eyes.

He almost sounds desperate.

I think about wheather or not I actually want to talk to him because I'm afraid of what he might say.

Or what he might not.

But I know I owe him that much.

"Okay" I say simply and he nods several times.

"Okay, so let's go" He says hurriedly and seems ready to leave.

I shake my head when I realize that he meant right now.

"I can't leave with you, Zayn" I tell him, "Not now" I add and tilt my head to the side and look at him.

He realizes that too, "Yeah, right" He mumbles sadly.

My heart just seems to break over and over again tonight.

"Tomorrow then?" He asks hopefully and looks between both my eyes and wipes another tear from my cheek.

I don't even realize that I've nodded until he grins happily, "Okay, will you come to my place? I'll make you dinner and we'll talk about everything"

"Okay" I comply and bite my lip again.

His eyes swiftly looks down at my lips before gazing back into mine again.

"Can I-" He stops himself from finishing his sentence and I'm scared to death that he will.

He looks deep in though and a little nervous, like a little boy with his first crush.

"Can I hug you?" He finally asks and I let out a little laugh which makes him smile widely with a mix of uncertainty.

That was not what I thought he'd finish that sentence with.

I nod again and smile softly.

I nod because I want nothing more than to feel his arms around me again.

But I know at the same time that it might do us more harm than good.

Eventually we'll have to let go, and we'll have to go out separate ways again.

And I down know if we'll make it.

He pulls his arms around my body and pulls me into his embrace and I instantly feel at home.

I pull him tighter against me with my arms wrapped around his neck and he squeezes me harshly.

Like he never wants to let go again.

I inhale his intoxicating scent which is mixed with a bit of smoke and I feel a rush of adrenaline going though my whole being.

He's holding on to me almost as if his life depended on it.

And I am too.

I didn't know I could miss a person this much, even though he's standing right here, holding me in his arms.

I feel him kissing the top of my head and I realize my tears can't be stopped now.

I'm so happy that I'm finally in his arms again, but I'm also devastated over the fact that I am.

This is making my already confused and broken heart even more shattered because I know that I can't forget him.

I know we have to let go soon and I don't want to.

I think he notices that I'm crying because he grabs me even harder and clings onto me like he's never done before.

This hug speaks more than any words could ever do.

And right now, it's screaming.

-

Am I the only one crying a little bit right now? And that gif... Yeah? Okay...