Toxic

Chapter 45

It's been two weeks.

And Zayn's been dealing with his emotions the way he does.

Downing a whiskey.

Every night.

I thought he'd have that one night when he yelled at me and then he would be so regretful and then that would be it.

But I was wrong.

It's continued all though these weeks and we've barely spoken.

I don't want to be here but at the same time I keep thinking he'll eventually break down and need me.

That he'll finally open up to me again.

He still goes to work every morning even though he must be so unbelievably hungover.

I don't know what to do.

I called Matt after the third night.

It didn't feel right to tell him everything so I left out a few details from Zayn's story.

Matt told me to come back to the apartment right away, that Zayn would realize what he could potentially lose.

But I can't bring myself to leave him.

I'm terrified of what might happen if I'm not there one night.

If something awful would happen and I'm not here to help him.

Matt's been calling me every day since, to check up on me.

And when we've had a shift together at work he's tried to get me to come home again.

I don't know what to do.

How do you help someone who obviously doesn't want to be helped?

Someone who doesn't know how to ask for help.

I need to give it one more shot.

I need to try and talk to him again.

That's why my ass is currently sat on the sofa waiting for him to get home from work.

My palms are sweaty and I feel so nervous.

I have to cross my legs because otherwise they're shaking too much.

I haven't really tried talking to him since the night he got so upset.

But I've seen him fall further and further into the hole he's dug for himself.

I don't know where the bottom is for him.

Just then, the elevator dings.

I rub my sweaty hands against the fabric of my thighs and stare at the doors, waiting for them to divide.

When they do, Zayn stumbles out of it and curses quietly under his breath as he kicks his shoes of.

He seems... normal?

A little bit of hope clings on to me.

He looks up and his eyes fall on me.

I notice how his expression changes.

He looks confused and even a bit scared.

"Hi" he lets out whilst taking his coat off of him.

"Hi" I answer him, a bit unsure since I still don't trust that he's being himself.

He enters the living room slowly and leans against the door frame.

His arms cross in front of his chest as he questions me, "What?"