Traffic lights

Chapter one- The beginning of the end

Let's get one thing straight. This will not be your perfect love story, even if I tried so hard to make it one.

It started on a weekend in May. I had just gone through a break up with my boyfriend Oliver.

It was pretty rough, he had broken my heart. But I would never let him know that. That night I waited till I was home and cried till one o'clock am. The pillow between my arms felt like it was my new best friend. That morning I practiced my fake smile in the mirror until it was believable then headed right out to Oliver's usual morning café. I wouldn't let him know that that every sharp intake of breath hurt my heart. After all they were my daggers not his.

I sat down in the booth directly across from Oliver's. I pulled out my phone and plugged in my earbuds. Music always helped me escape from my reality. While I listened to my music I texted my best friend Louis to meet me here. Of course he was there in a matter of minutes.

"What are you doing here Sophia?" Louis asked while he slid into the booth. He had obviously seen Oliver when he walked in.

"What I need to do Louis. I need him to see me and know that I'll be fine without him." I tried to explain to him.

"This is a bad idea. What if he comes over? What are you going to say? What if he doesn't care that you don't need him because he doesn't need you." Louis said disapprovingly. "You know what! Lets go Sophia. I'm not going to sit here and watch you get your heart broken anymore then it already is." Louis stood stood up and grabbed my wrist to pull me out of the booth. I yanked my arm back out of his grasp. He just stood there looking astonished that I wouldn't take advice from my best friend who only wants what's best for me.

"I'm sorry Lou but I can't leave. I have to stay, I have to try to break his heart like he broke mine." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "Please stay Lou. Don't make me do this alone." I croaked out. It was no use though, he looked at me like I had gone insane. Maybe I had. Louis turned to face the door and only took one step before stopping and turning on his heel to say one more thing to me.

"Show him who you really are Sophia. Strong and independent." Louis said with a lowered voice so that nobody would hear. He turned back towards the door and left. I put my headphones back in and started to listen to my music again. It was only 30 seconds after Louis left that texted me.

"I only left because I believe that you can do this on your own." I smiled down at my phone. Lou always believes in me when nobody else does. When I looked up Oliver was sitting across from me.

"Jesus Christ man!" I said way to loudly and jumped back in my seat. I removed my earbuds while Oliver just sat back and smirked.

"What are you doing here Sophia?" Oliver asked smoothly, the smirk not leaving his face.

"Oh my god! Why does everyone want to know why I am here? Maybe I just want a friken bagel!" I replied loudly. I slammed my hands down on the table. Oliver reached across the table and tucked a piece of my dark brown hair behind my ear. I glared back at him.

"I wasn't trying to start a fight. I just thought it was weird that I broke up with you just yesterday and you chose to have breakfast where you knew I would be." Oliver was treating me like a hurt puppy and frankly I was sick of it.

"Just tell me it meant something Oliver!" I blurted out. "Or tell me it meant nothing at all." I looked down at my lap swallowing the lump in my throat. "Or tell me how tragic it is that I can't decide which is worse." I almost whisper. I can only look into his eyes for a few seconds before looking back down at my lap. I couldn't do it. I had just let him see that I'm broken. I had just let him know that he had the power to break me and I had just learned that I had no power against him.

"It meant something to me Sophia just not much." Oliver replied after a long pause. I didn't even look up. There was no reason to. "I'm sorry." he quietly said. I could only shake my head because I knew he wasn't even close.