The Boy That Broke Her

Where's my bond that's not surfaced?
Too much time spent searching steady lurking
Mistaken our contact for something more than what it was
Did you do the same? Get more that a fling buzz?
We understood each others emotion and felt each others hurt
Pain that was long due but building a bond wouldn't see it through
We were what we both needed to fill any gaps
Just for a moment not even for a minute did I doubt the want for a relapse..
During the time of your lips against mine, your silhouette over mine, and both sweats combined
Did I realize what love was? Did we even think about potential grudge?
In those moments of short lived compassion is what made it clear that we could not be
A thing that felt so right but a decision of bad timing
The two of us being mentally linked just would've caused us more hurt
If something so good and so real introduced at the wrong time couldn't work
We loved each other in the worst
I understood you and you understood me to well, or maybe you didn't see it..
I'm not sure what to think or whether to leave it
No matter what I do I can't so I choose to believe it
Nothing is by coincidence... you had tenderness to your touch
Intimacy in your words, care in your eyes even when leaving me to the curb
For your actions spoke a different language than your words
Leaving me alone admitting that we would not work
Texting kind messages but thinking "I could never be Hers"
So here comes the confusion the doubt and the self hate
Misinterpreted nothing into something, stupid me put my heart on a plate
Why so vulnerable?
What was different at that time?
What made me trust and believe so hard I cried?
I vowed to never play with anyone's heart, never let deceiving expressions fly
I asked "what have I done" for in due time your presence turned dry
What was your state of mind which forced you to leave me high?..
No goodbyes
Which makes me wonder
Did you want to go or is that just what time called for ..
Wasn't in fates plan so you rap to me and stall more..
Push away with a strong force to cut off love you don't know to take
When you've been hurt deep you tend to crave the opposing to what's healthy as if genuineness is obsolete ..
So did you feel love too?
Am I trying to paint a picture that was never one
How far do I have to go, telling myself that there will be no more pain like this
Did I cause this upon myself not acknowledging my intuition
Now I have to live with
Live with that fact that I'll never get those answers
I'll never understand why I wasn't loved and pampered
My heart and emotions have always been those to get tampered
But you didn't know, how could you know?
Where will my love be? See
It's a cycle like this that says: Is there even a love for me?
EPL™️