𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝚖𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 // 𝕁𝕁 𝕄𝕒𝕪𝕓𝕒𝕟𝕜

Chapter Two // Don't Shoot The Messenger

2. Don't Shoot The Messenger

•••

"Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence"

~ The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel

•••

Trigger Warnings: Drug/Alcohol abuse, mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts.

•••

JJ slowly pulled the Twinkie up in front of the empty Chateau. The old van sputtered to a halt and he cut off the engine, but didn't move for a moment. He just sat there.... really stoned and really sad.

He most definitely shouldn't have been driving in this state, but he just needed to get out of the house and cruise down the backroads for a bit to clear his mind.

Every time he pulled up to this old house, he expected to find his best friend lounging on the hammock out in the yard waiting to go surfing. But instead, the hammock swung empty in the afternoon breeze.

And when he barged through the front door without knocking, the silence was like a dagger to his heart. No John B. napping on the couch for him to leap on top of. No Kiara sitting on the porch strumming her ukulele. No Pope sprawled out on the floor with his nose in a book.

No, it was all over and he could barely wrap his head around the fact that just a few short weeks ago, they were vowing to make this the best summer ever.

He'd lost more than one best friend this summer.

He'd lost all three.

Hell, he even missed Sarah's goofy ass smile sometimes.

JJ collapsed onto the couch, pulling his hat low over his eyes. But after just a few seconds, he leapt to his feet, hurrying over to the liquor cabinet. He didn't want to hear his own thoughts anymore.

He could feel the tears burning at the back of his eyes, the hollowness in his chest crushing out every bit of his breath.

He needed to numb the pain.

JJ had never been one to face his emotions appropriately. He just couldn't handle the intensity. So he would cover them up with jokes and drown them in alcohol and numb them with drugs. And then he would feel just a little bit better.

For just a little while.

And maybe that was the exact reason he had lost all three of his friends. After all, Kiara and Pope were clinging to each other, grieving like normal people grieve.

What was JJ doing? Well, JJ was getting fucking wasted all by himself at three in the afternoon everyday.

Coping. He liked to call it.

Sure Kie and Pope had tried to be there for him. They really had. But JJ was angry and hurting and tired... So fucking tired.

He just didn't know if he had it in him to keep going anymore.

And so, he turned up the bottle of tequila and took a nice long chug, letting the liquid burn his throat and churn in his stomach.

Yep. He was blacking out today.