jasper's p.o.v.
i'm slouched down, picking up pieces from my past to put in a box that's going to travel to my future. so many strewn clothes are everywhere on my bedroom floor and so many empty boxes, but so many filled ones, too.
it's a living, breathing nightmare if i'm honest. things were okay before the storm and now it's like we're in the eye of a hurricane. slowly getting swept up in reality that i wish i could push far, far away.
i pick up the nearest item and it's a string. it's woven and thin and when i realize what it is, i close my eyes. our friendship bracelet. does valerie still have hers? i wrap it around my wrist and it's a bit too tight, but it doesn't matter. it fits like a glove and it's not going anywhere. unlike me, myself, and i.
i lay on my back and stare at the beige ceiling and sigh. when did life get so complicated? it seems like just yesterday val and i were twelve and we were swinging on her swing set, just talking about nothing, but it was everything at the time. it was just me and her. and nobody else.
i love her. i'll probably tell everyone in my future about her. i'll tell the birds and the trees and i'll tell the moon every night so when i wake up, she'll still be in my thoughts. will she talk about me, too? will she go to college and meet someone new months or years from now? will i?
i can't believe i'm leaving her in this state and i'm leaving her with our past. will she crash? will she break? my eyes close and images of her and i dance in my mind and it's beautiful. it's so damn beautiful and so is she. our love was tragic and real. were we even in love? or did we just love the thought of loving each other?
my mom comes in my room to break up my thoughts and she's smiling with tears in her eyes. "they found him."
"gregory?"
"yeah," she says, walking in my room and sitting down on my stripped mattress. "he was on the outskirts of town and an undercover policeman found him. he's locked up, jasper. he has life in prison. isn't that wonderful?" she says, smiling.
i can't help but nod. "does val know?"
she nods her head. "they informed her, don't worry."
"i'm gonna miss her, mom."
"i know, jasper. i know."
"this isn't fair."
"it's definitely not," she agrees.
"but it's for the best, right?" i ask in a hushed voice.
"yes," she says quietly, nodding. "it is."
"do you think i'll ever see her again?"
she shrugs. "maybe one day. let fate decide that one, okay?"
i sit up on my elbows and stare around the almost empty room. my dad walks in and makes a clapping sound. "it's lookin' good. i'm proud of you."
my mom nods. "he's done well." my dad smiles at that and it's little acts like this that make me feel like it's going to be okay.
it has to be.
