~𝑰 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒅~ (𝒅𝒂𝒅𝒛𝒂𝒘𝒂 + 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒂)

~one~

As the sun slowly set, leaving place for the silver moon to rule the sky, he couldn't help but feel a huge anger building up inside of him. He wasn't angry at the greenette that showed him how useless can his quirk be. No, that was not the case. He was angry at himself. The sports festival was his only hope to get closer to his biggest dream: becoming a hero. By winning it, he could have gotten a chance to transfer to the hero course, he could have proven everyone that he wasn't weak and, especially, that he wasn't evil.

But he failed.

He failed. He failed he failed he failed he failed.

He had one chance to show the entire country  and, more important, his entire family that he was strong. And he miserably failed.

His breath got chaotic, making his chest hurt, his head started hurting as well and his vision was getting more and more blurry, but his thoughts wouldn't leave him alone.

He  failed because he was weak. He always had been weak and he will never not be. 

He knew too well that thinking like that would only make things worse, but he couldn't stop it. His hands started tickling and his whole body was shaking. The purple-haired boy wasn't able to see, hear or move. As he sunk into his thoughts his body froze in the middle of the alley on his way back home.

He was thinking that maybe a villain would appear and he would be asked to join a gang of villains because of his quirk, and when he will refuse he will get laughed in the face. And then he would get killed, because of course no hero would bother enough to save him. He wasn't worth saving after all. He failed in front of the entire country, and even on television. He was almost sure he was going to get kicked out of his parents' house as well. He told them he would win, after all...

Tears started to form in his swollen red eyes, falling down his cheeks just a few seconds after they appeared. But Hitoshi didn't bother to wipe them away, everyone already knew just how weak he was, plus there was no one on the alley to worry about. And even if there was, he was sure that he scared them away by just standing in the middle of the path like a psychopath.

Tiredly, he got on his knees with his hands on his chest trying to breathe normally. He didn't have anyone to really care for him, so he taught himself multiple breathing exercises and stims to bring him back to his normal indifferent state. Or, at least, to help him put on his mask again. All he could feel was pain, sadness, anger, jelousy and coldness. He couldn't help it, all he could do was put on the bad boy mask and pray no one notices. He usually desperatly wanted to feel nothing, but at that moment he decided to let his feelings consume him for a couple minutes.

His phone notification sound woke him up, reminding him that he still had to come home after the festival. He slowly started moving again and before he reacher for the phone in his pocket he made sure to make himself numb. He had been hurt enough in the past. The bright light of the screen blinded him for a second as he read the text from his mom: 'Home. Now'. 

Well now he had fucked up. He already didn't have a great relationship with his parents, but now he was sure they hated him. He couldn't run away either, because they will tell anyone what a curse his quirk is and how useless he always had been, and the cops would bring him back in seconds. His only choice was to man up and take all the yelling. The fact that he was used to it didn't mean he was less scared. Heck he was terrified. He would rather take a beating or two from his "friends" than hear his mom yell at him. But he had no choice.

Deciding that as soon as he would arrive home the sooner it would all end, he got up and went on with his walk, walk that soon enough became a run. He got in the streets of the city and all he could think about was that he hated the idea of being seen or recognised, especially in such a vulnerable position. 

Just a couple minutes passed and he was standing in front of the door, not able to make one more move. Unfortunately, his mom was waiting for him. She was too calm, her eyes staring blankly at the kid in front of her. 'Get in.'

Hitoshi's body moved on his own, his brain not even processing what was happening. He got in. His mom slowly closed the door and, after a couple of deep breaths, she slapped her son with all her force. He stumbled over a chair nearby and fell on the hard floor. Despite that, he felt nothing but his burning face.

'How could you do that to me' She was staring at him with a painful expression painted all over her face.

His throat dried at the view in front of him.
'I-I am sorry I didn't I didn't mean-'

SLAP  

'You promised you will make it. If you wouldn't had been weak you could have actually done something and maybe my husband would had been able to move back in'

'I am sorry mom, I-I know I dissapointed you and dad, but maybe I-'

'Don't call me mother anymore'

'But mom I am s-'

'I SAID, DON'T CALL ME MOTHER ANYMORE. FROM NOW ON I AM MISSES SHINSOU TO YOU. UNDERSTOOD?!'

'Yes.'

Hitoshi felt as his world was torn apart. It was only his fault his dad had to work oversea to gain some money, and now he just made things worse for them. If only he wouldn't had been born, a lot of things would have changed for the better.

'You don't get to eat today, we can't afford it. Go'

He quickly followed his mother's instructions, going into his room and locking the door behind him. Then he collapsed on the floor, unable to move from all the exhaustion the sports festival and the events that took place after caused. All he wished was to have someone to comfort him, but that would be such a pity for anyone, so he put it aside. He comforted himself at the thought that maybe his mom is happier now that she doesn't see him as her son anymore, and that he would be able to sacrifice anything just to make her happy. And so, with tears in his eyes, he fell asleep on the floor, finally finding peace.

..........................................................................................

word count: 1154
so this is it, the first chapter~