Review on Between you and me!
This story is mixture of every style and thank god for it, I find a mixture of everything in a story, makes it overloaded with character and one wicked storyline and that's what you are presented with here.
One of the best things in this story was the characters, which are detailed so well that I felt I had known them for years, but two characters fell flat for me. Steven, who became such a major character later on at the start, seemed so minor, so it was both a surprise and a twist. He'd been in Sophie's group for quite a while, yet I felt like I had only just met him when I was reading about him in your story, however later on it became apparent that he was always on the outskirts and not really on Sophie's mind until later. Tyler was mainly described through text showing what he had been to Sophie before, so he remained a bit of a mystery until Sophie went after him. I wish you had said more about him, as he was a well -developed character.
I was rather surprised when Sophie rejected the smooth, charming Tyler when he asked her out, for it was apparent she was falling for him, but don't get me wrong, it was a good surprise and it makes things unpredictable.
Now one thing that I love is that Ruby didn't tell Sophie that she could see ghosts, and it was a brilliant idea for Sophie to just happen to see the journal explaining it, pure excellence. There is no doubt you have raw talent for your age. I really enjoyed this chapter because we get to find out about Ruby and everybody loves a twist. Another thing I love is that Sophie did not believe Ruby at first, and Ruby had to prove it or Sophie would think she's on drugs. That was a realistic touch that Sophie didn't immediately accept it as the truth.
The thing you have to love about this story is the fact that it is so full of all these different little problems, which get solved or deepened as the story plays out. For example, while Sophie is frantically chasing Tyler like lost puppy, her "supposed" best friend Keira, who is going out with him, gets territorial and tells Sophie to back off. Meanwhile, she has all these background issues like her sister Ruby and her gift, and her father leaving the family, and her issues with her Mum. It is like a content explosion. This story is definitely filled with atmosphere and personality.
After Sophie kissing Tyler at the beach and him, being a coward, breaking under pressure and saying things to calm Keira's nerves, which end up hurting Sophie. I love that you made me not know to love or hate Tyler. For he did come to save her from almost dying, after Damien bashed her, although it was his fault any of it happened in the first place.
The depression really made the readers realise how the world is now days which is a good thing, but it dragged on a little bit you probably should have shortened it.
When she sees her dad it confused me, as I had no idea she was seeing the Dad that abandoned her again for the first time until she made that clear. Although it did prolong the suspense, it was a tad confusing for me. It sounded like she had a crush on him. Although, I suppose she did idolise him.
When Steven and Becky became friends with Sophie again, I was glad the story was coming back on track. Once when she became really close to Steve, I forgot all about Tyler and started wondering about Steve. I'm really glad you're making her like another fellow. In this dark story it was nice to have a happy moment.
When Tyler sexually assaults her, trying to get some video footage for his mates, it shines a light on his true colours, which throughout the book, became more and more clear. Once when Steven steps in, you can really see how much he likes Sophie, GO STEVEN! I really need you to write more about Steven because by the time people read how he saves the day, readers will be dreaming about him.
Chill2gether You have written this beautifully. I really enjoyed reading and reviewing your story. If you edit it and remove some mistakes I believe it will get published and I will buy it J
CHEERS :)
