Lollipop

Traveling

"Lollipop,you ready?"said one of my bodyguard. I was looking out the window,a lollipop in my mouth. America. There's more traffic. I watch as the cars go by. There's a lot of screeching and yelling. It can be heard up to the ninth floor. That's my floor. It's been mine since fourteen. Angelo bought it for me. That's who I work for now and then.

"Yes,I'm ready" I responded. Living in America still didn't change my accent. It's still strong.

Today is the day when I go visit my family. I haven't seen them in two years. I've been very busy. Business after business. Lately we've been getting a lot of people negotiating with us. Word goes around quick especially when they want to see a gangster who's a girl. They make it seem I'm a rare animal and pay to see.

"Well,the car it ready to go. From there , it'll take you to the airport."

"Thank you. I'll see you when I do."

My other bodyguard grabbed my suitcase and walked with me down to the car. It was quiet. All you can hear is the clicking of my shoes on the marble floor. I can almost see my reflection. Sometimes I'm afraid to look at it. I fear I never stop looking at it. I kept my head up high.

I'm not going to look at it. If I look, I'll fear myself more. I can't afford that since I'm going to receive a lot of crap from mum. I really can't change my personality. I need to stay control. London was never a home to me. My mind can't stay stable.

My footing stop when we're out of the building. I stared at the car. I didn't want to make a fit like a five year old. But I don't want to be heartless like my father. I still need to see my family even I don't feel like I belong. Frances was the only person I can connect with. She's the only one that can ease my illness cause the damn meds can't. Also she doesn't see me as mental illness or a criminal. She sees me as a sister. She act towards me like a normal person. Many people in London thinks I can't speak normal so they speak to me like I'm a kid. Unbelievable people.

"Ready,Miss?"

I looked at him for a second before I respond. "Do you think I'm retarded?" I randomly said.

He stared at blankly. He thinks before answering the question that made no sense. I stared at him, straight in the eyes. He swallows cause for him it could be his last.

"Well,then you shouldn't be a gangster but you are" he finally says. There was silence there untill I smiled. Crazy.

"You know how to make a girl blush" I teasingly said. I'm definitely crazy. Sometimes my self-esteem gets low. I think I keep losing my senses of existence.

"That's why I'm here" he smiles as he grabbed my hand, leading me to the car.

I got in without any hesitation. Now that I got a compliment,I feel good about myself. My bodyguard closes the door. He took a deep breath, thinking he could've died there . The driver started the car, adjusting the mirrors. All the mirrors were point towards to me. I yawn as the driver drove off from the curb.

"Have you been taking your meds,(Y/N)?" he said as he lifted an eyebrow and staring at me through the mirror. He waited for my answer.

"Which ones?"I laughed. I at least take like about three or four.

"You know which ones." He still keep staring at me in the mirror.

"No,I haven't. I haven't since that accident."

He gave a stern look ,yet he understands why. "Alright, did you at least pack them?"

I may not take my meds but I at least bring it along when it comes to visits especially at mum's house. "I did."