depth of darkness || nakahara chuuya x reader

15

fighting side by side with chuuya created new feelings inside of you, though, for once they weren't quite so confusing. you wanted to fight with him, not against him. that thought alone was nearly enough to knock you off your A-game.

what is it about him that makes you want to push yourself so hard? you had the urge to always show him your power, and be as confident as he always seemed to be. although, it wasn't necessarily in an "i need to prove myself to him," way, but more along the lines of , "he's sort of inspiring."

for some odd reason his natural self-assurance and pride in himself, while still being able to do everything he does with such genuineness, it made you feel so different. like the world isn't just made up of people out to get you.

but you knew that already, didn't you? when you happen think about how there's so many people in the world, and no one is the same, you know that not everyone is going to hurt you. even still, you always find yourself overly cautious of everyone who approaches you, and you never know quite how to tone down your suspicion.

yet here, in this moment, you know just what it is your feeling. it's an overwhelming need to understand the azure-eyed executive. you wanted to know everything that made him tick, and how it is that he always seemed to display exactly what he's feeling in such a strong and powerful way.

the curiosity this man sparks in you is like nothing you've ever experienced, even as a child when everything had you curious.

you kept your rampant thoughts on the back burners of your mind. at least, as much as you could keep there.

the two of you were taking down everyone in your path, and nearly tearing the building down along with your reckless and destructive methods.

"nearly done, l/n!" chuuya exclaims, his amused smirk somehow growing, even as he kept his eyes trained on the people in front of him.

the way he constantly switched between calling your by your first name and your last name was beginning to get on your nerves, it was like he couldn't decide whether or not he wanted you to be his partner, or his rival.

you sent out electric waves through your palms as you touched the people you were fighting, momentarily stunning them and striking someone else with your sword.

the metal of the katana glinted in the light from a window, and before you knew it, everyone before you was on the ground, dead, or nearly so.

you stared down at the bodies in front of you for a moment, silently searching for the reason you were fighting.

mori saved my life, it is a debt i owe to him

you somehow longed for a reason that was more than just obligation, but you couldn't seem to formulate one in your head, and somehow that frustrated you.

kouyou inspired you to keep fighting, but she didn't feel like enough. you wanted to fight for something that was yours, and kouyou's mentoring wasn't it.

the crease between your eyebrows deepened with your frown as you grimaced at the bloodshed beneath you. all of these people were dead, and you had barely a scrape.

that thought made you feel powerful, but a small tinge of guilt threw you off.

guilt

it was a concept you were finding hard to get used to again, and even now, it wasn't very prominent in your mind as you glanced up to meet chuuya's dazzling blue eyes, which held a curiosity you couldn't hope to understand.

but nearly as soon as e/c eyes met azure ones, the trance chuuya seemed to be in faltered, and he walked forward to pick up his coat off of the floor.

"good thing it didn't get any blood on it, then i'd really be pissed." he muttered, clearly not intending to be overheard as he slipped the fabric over his shoulders.

you turned away, looking down the stairs. "you ready to go?" you asked, your stoic facade put carefully back together as you stared blankly down the corridor. chuuya nodded his head simply in reply.

the two of you made your way back outside in mutual silence, neither of you feeling any particular need to fill the silence that enveloped you.

yet when you reached the motorbike, and both of you were seated comfortably on it, chuuya opened his mouth. "you said there was something you wanted to tell me." he stated, eyes staring straight ahead as he leaned forward on the motorbike, gripping the handles lazily.

you almost wanted to shrug and blow it off, give him the typical "doesn't matter, really," but something inside you says no. a harsh commanding voice in the back of your head telling you that if you don't open up to him now, you probably never will.

your grip on his torso loosens, and your eyebrows furrow as you internally go through the pros and cons.

"i just thought, that...since you thought it was such a good idea to get to know each other, that i would tell you something i figured out about myself finally." it wasn't that you sounded nervous, or shy, just awkward. the obvious fact that you don't really open up became more apparent with ever word you spoke, and your uncertainty of what to say made you feel a little small.

"i did say that." he says agreeably, nodding to himself as he turns to glance at you as best he can from where he sits. "so why don't you tell me?"

you didn't realize how much his response would affect how you felt about his situation until he said it, and you suddenly let out a small breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding, and some of the tension you were feeling was relieved.

"well, i kept thinking about it, and i really like the sky, and being outside." you tell him, your voice growing a little more confident as you think about the comforting way the stars and moon shine like small beacons in the night. they're a symbol of hope for you, and you appreciated the warmth that fills you with just the thought of their soft light. "the moon especially, because it's surrounded by so much darkness and it still manages to glow throughout it, and reach us here."

chuuya takes your words into thoughtful consideration, and takes time to rev the engine of the motorbike before he responds.

"you're right." he says simply, the bike beginning to move slowly and pick up speed. "the moon is pretty amazing. you gotta keep telling me when you figure out more stuff about yourself. cause i think you're off to a great start."

you thought about his words. would he really or mind hearing everything you found out about yourself? there was so much you still didn't know, and that meant a whole lot that he would end up hearing about. even still, you couldn't bring yourself to be anxious about it, not when his words of encouragement were making you feel so confident.

you could figure yourself out no problem. and you would, no matter how long it takes to know everything to know about yourself.