December 2nd, 2016
Dear diary,
When I first stepped into high school back in 2015, I spotted someone and felt that instant pull—
the kind you think only happens in silly teenage movies.
Typical, right?
Everyone meets someone new.
Everyone falls in love.
Everyone, eventually, falls out of it.
He was that guy—
the one who never had to try, the one every girl noticed, the one who could get anyone he was temporarily interested in with a single snap of his fingers.
I told myself that someone like him would never even be in the same orbit as me. And if I ever thought he and I could be friends, then I must be truly stupid.
And I was.
Because even though my mind told me to keep my distance, my heart refused to listen.
If I had been better at holding myself back—even just a little—I might've spared myself from everything that came after.
But no.
I was dumb enough to believe we could be friends.
And somehow, we were.
Imagine that: being friends with your own crush.
How terrifyingly stupid of me to even write that.
Still, it's not every day someone way out of your league actually notices you. So at first, I was... glad. Maybe even thrilled.
It all started when I approached Jin one day. I didn't want to, but I had to—well, more like I was forced to. I needed to borrow his book for my friend, Park Channette, who had lost hers in the chaos of that morning.
She knew I had a tiny, tiny crush on him, but she insisted.
"Just ask him," she said.
So I did.
He turned out to be really kind. Approachable, even. He always said he was awkward around girls, but whenever I was with him, it felt strangely easy. When he talked to me without hesitation, I felt this quiet rush of relief.
And that was enough to make me want to know him more.
Before I knew it, Jin and I grew closer. We acted like the kind of friends who naturally gravitated toward each other. He'd sneak up beside me, tease me, play around—just normal friendly things.
But to me, it felt like the world.
I was genuinely happy.
But you see, every friendship has its breaking point.
Every story has that one moment where everything could've changed—
if only someone had acted a second sooner.
I was one step too late.
Anyway—
Someone's calling me.
I'll come back later!
xin ae
