One Chance

Chapter 23

The dinner goes as smoothly as I hope. We eat and chat with ease and there are moments of comfortable silence when we are just enjoying the food which is basically braised chicken and carbonara pasta with some vegetables on the side. These are two of Toby's favourite dishes which I learnt to perfection or at least I like to think so. I also make a chocolate cake which I'm about to surprise him with also his favourite. As we are done with the food on our plates and I'm about to get up to finally bring the cake, he stops me and says, " we need to talk". 

In the history of humankind or at least in all the romance movies/ novels I’ve seen and read, there has never been a pleasant consequence after those four words are said. I try to maintain my composure and try to figure out if he's being serious or I'm just overthinking. I mean those four words don't have to be something bad right? I stop the conversation in my head because I can see Toby trying to get my attention. " Yeah, sure, what do you want to talk about" I finally manage without giving away the fact that I am freaking out inside. 

" I have some news to share" he says in a normal tone like it is the most normal thing in the world. 

" Oh okay, well there's something I wanted to tell you too anyway but uh... Do you want some cake first...if it isn't very serious", I say and at this point I'm too nervous to even think about what I am saying.

" Sure, bring the cake, but we really need to talk okay?" He says but I still don't sense anything wrong so I nod and bring the cake from the kitchen.  

I cut a slice for the both of us and give him the plate. He immediately digs in and I do it too but take sly glimpses at him eating. 

" So.....I got a call from work a few hours ago and I might need to go to the city". He utters suddenly. I immediately look at him and swallow the piece of cake in my mouth. 

" Okay.... You have gone back to the city for work a few times to in the past few months, right? I understand since you've started working in your old office again you need be there from time to time. Is that what you wanted to say?" I ask feeling a little relaxed. Toby rejoined his old job back in the city two months ago since his leave came to an end, but convinced his boss to let him work remotely as long as he check in regularly which also meant he has to go back to the city from time to time. I am used to this and I help with the bookstore from time to time along with the employee he hired for when he would be out of town. 

" Yeah I know I have gone back a few times. But it's different this time. I might need to stay there longer. " he replies looking at the half-eaten piece of cake on his plate. 

" So for a whole week?", I ask in return hoping for that to be the only answer. 

" No.... probably a year or more. I kinda got a promotion....so I have more responsibilities and they want me to be there in person. My boss didn't give me much of a choice", he says, and I finally understand and could sense the hesitation in his voice.

" So, you are saying you have to move back to the city to your old home. You mean you are leaving. I'm guessing you already said yes...wait, what does this mean for us and for the bookstore? " I say now my head feels light and my eyes are blurry. My hands are sweaty and is the room shaking or am I imagining it. 

"Lucy...it is not a matter of me saying yes or no... It was basically an order to come back. The book store will remain, I have spoken to Austin( the new employee) and I'll check in with him regularly, there shouldn't be any problems. " He says but I notice he hasn't really answered the question about 'us'.

" What about us? I mean I know you told me you never intended to stay here permanently but I really thought you would. Maybe I'm being selfish but where does this leave us? " I ask him not a little irritated at him for not answering the part about us.