My Life

A Fight

Some of the stuff in this chapter can be triggering. Please consider this if you are about to read it. I don't want anyone to be or feel uncomfortable or have a panic attack reading this. My intention is to vent and only that. Again, please be careful reading this. Have a lovely day, and remember, if you are felling anything remotely depression-like, seek help from loved ones or a professional. 

Now, a physical fight between my brother and I isn't really uncommon. It doesn't happen all the time, but it isn't rare. We both are hot-tempered, and we are very stubborn. Today, on the other hand, was worse than all the rest. We had our usual fight, verbal not physical, where he was being an ass and wouldn't let me get my say in. I got angry and I started balling my fists, so that the fight wouldn't get physical, because I'm usually a pacifist. He of course, doesn't know when to stop or when to control himself when it comes to him getting angry, so he starts pinching my arms. He like full on grabs me on my upper arms and starts pinching them with all his might so he can get a reaction out of me. I fight back and then we start full-on fighting. Well, it's mostly one-sided. Since I am in Tae Kwon Do, I know how to fight and I have a style. I usually am on the more defensive side. In this case, I am using defense and countering instead of attacking. So we're fighting, and then we stop and I say I'm done. I sit around for a while and we leave each other alone. Then he decides to provoke me and call me names like "whore" and "dumb bitch". We start fighting again and then the same thing happens all over again. After that whole ordeal, we stop fighting and at this point I'm done. I go to the backroom of my house and start breaking down and hitting myself in the head and just crying and all that jazz. I then calm down and my brother comes back for more provoking. We fight, again, and then I break down again. I go to the backroom and cry. Then he comes back, and he teases me about crying. I then am just done with his shit and my own and I'm like, "just kill me. Just kill me. Go grab a knife and stab me" He says no and then leaves me. I just kind of walk around the house with a blank expression for two hours and then we act like nothing happened. I also have a cut on my leg from shaving, and yesterday I was practicing some spikes, because I am interested in volleyball, and the ball went to another side of the backyard. I wen to go get it and my foot hit something, I stumbled, and then I figured out that I had injured myself. A good thing that happened this week was I started watching Supernatural again and I am having a race with my girlfriend and her sister to see who can finish first. Also, I got to help someone with a spirit problem. Of course, it was over the phone. They needed help getting rid of a spirit and I gave them some advice. The last good thing is I made a friend! I was camping with cousins and this guy yells over to my cousins and I, who had gone for a walk, and was like, "Hey! Another Pokemon hat!" That "Pokemon hat" was me. The friend I made was also a fan of Pokemon and then they ran over to me and we exchanged numbers and started talking. That's the basis of what as happened this week. Good and bad. 

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Hello anyone who is reading this. I usually only talk about my problems if no one is listening, so if you are actually reading this, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my crappy stories. I know my story-telling ability isn't very good, so bare with me. I hope you are having a wonderful morning, afternoon, or night. Depending on the time. By the way, I do not know if I have depression or anxiety or anything like that, so until I know, I won't call what I have anxiety-related or anything. I don't want to assume anything, that's why I am saying this. Goodbye lovelies! Word Count: 830 words total