My Life

My Brother

                                                                                        

Warning!!!

     I use a little bit of profanity in order to express feelings better and the subject I talk about in this may have triggers in it. Just be careful. I don't need anyone to feel like shit. Viewer discretion is advised. Also, I just really like the that picture so that's why it's there.

               There is no proper way to describe my brother other than he is an absolute dickhead around me. My brother hates me. So much so that everyday he tries to annoy me or make me cry in some way. I am a very sensitive person, so it's understandable that I cry over slightly sad things, but he doesn't have to go and try to make my life living hell. Today, my mom was at work so I had to watch my baby sister, (My mom isn't single, my stepdad is just lazy) so my brother decides he wants to torment me today and while I was playing with said baby sister he pulls her aside and tells her to call me baby. Now, I'm fine with name-calling. What I'm not fine with is harassment. 

        My baby sister and I were running around the house chasing each other as we normally would. My brother decides he wants to start something so he starts chasing me along with my baby sister and backs me into a corner. I get defensive really quickly so I push him away, as one would do in a situation like that, but he just keeps coming so I keep pushing him. Than, I run past him and go into the living room to get away from him. He proceeds to follow me and chase me back into our backroom, where there is a little desk with a space in between each pillar that I can fit into. I go to sit on the couch that is in the back room and my brother jumps on me then puts me in a headlock. I get out of that easily, since I take Tae Kwon Do lessons, and run away once again. This time I hid and successfully do so, but, in a state of panic, I run back into the back room and hide in the space underneath the desk. There is a box blocking the way so he can't see me, but he hears me and immediately finds me. Mind you my baby sister has just been doing what he says to do this whole time. So, I'm sitting there tired of his shit when he starts to torment me and call me names. That of which, like I said before, I can take. After that, he decides name-calling isn't enough so you starts poking me and calling me names. Then, I start twitching. Like just my neck twitching to the side ( I don't know of this is anxiety-related or not so I usually just call it abnormal twitching). The twitching usually happens when I'm being yelled at or something that bothers me a lot happens. At this point I'm just giving my brother a blank stare and thinking to myself that this wouldn't be happening if I wasn't here and that I wanted God or any other higher being to take me off of the Earth. The twitching has now stopped at this point, but my brother continues. The next thing he does is he gets a fake grape toy and starts to scrape my leg with it. At this moment, I'm like f*ck it, just say something. So I tell him, "I'd rather cut myself, thank you." He doesn't even bat an eye. He starts to smile at me, so I look away and stare at the "wall" of sorts (You get what I mean).  He continues to torment me in his way and gets my baby sister to start doing it, too. I was, finally, actually done with him, so I start to swat away his hands along with my baby sister's ( I don't hit her hard at all I just move her hands away from me). My brother proceeds to get up and start kicking me, not full force, but enough to feel pain and be annoyed by it. He then gets bored, because I'm not responding to anything, and goes into the living room to play on his phone. My baby sister goes with. 

         Now you thought it was over there, right? Wrong. My baby sister had gone to bed. But my brother on the other hand is still awake because it's only 9:30 p.m and our bedtimes are 10:00 p.m. My brother cones into my room and throws something that nearly misses my head. I twitch at this because I thought it was some sort of weapon or he was going to hit me. He then fake-twitches like I normally would a couple of times until I look up at him. I say it like he stop[ed but he didn't. I asked what he was doing and he just smiled and said that he was doing what I did because I'm such a baby. Then, he leaves and leaves me alone for the rest of the night knowing in his mind that I have some problems and that he is one of the main causes. 

         Now, one thing you need to know about me is that I can't remember any events from between the time I was three and six. I, also, don't know what happened between my mom and my biological father. I know he did something bad and got sentenced to some jail-time, but my mother refuses to tell me until I'm older. This something that happened has lead me to believe this is what caused my (What I call) memory-loss. I have a couple of memories from when I was seven but not a lot. Now, you must be thinking, isn't it normal to forget things as time goes on? Well, yes that is normal, but the fact that I am only 13 and I can't remember anything from when I was six or before is really weird to me.  Now this has to end here because it's two in the morning and I have more stories to read

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Thank you, to anyone who is reading this crap. I probably will only write stuff like this so I feel a little better about myself , even though I am absolute shit. Anyway, I hope you are having a great morning, afternoon, or night, depending on what time you are reading this. I won't ask you to vote on this shit or anything, but I would appreciate it.