So, I haven't always been insecure about my voice. Before 2019 I would be one of the loudest people when it came to singing. I now try to hide my voice, because when I hear myself, I cringe. I sound terrible. This actually only started recently. It was more like me being a brat and wanting attention, but this was the situation: My little cousin was singing quietly, and then she started to get louder. That I was proud of her for because she never sings loud. My mom and everyone who had been camping was telling her how good of a voice she had and that she should sing more and all that stuff. I was just still singing along to the song that was on and I felt a ping of sadness in my stomach. No one actually tells me I sound good besides my music teacher, who only does it so I stay in rock band even though rock band is one of the only places I feel comfortable and I never want to leave, and my grandpa, who just likes hearing me sing and play my guitar. There is other people who told me I had a good voice after performing at some sort of bar, but all of them said that out of pity. That's what I believe anyway. Anyways, on with the story. I was sad, so I stopped singing. Like, no singing for a whole couple of weeks. I do random warm-ups every now and then when I'm bored and I only sing when no one's around. I sang in front of my mom again today, though. I was really quiet and she couldn't hear me. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do choir this year. I really like choir too. I feel comfortable there. I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I don't know what I'm going to tell my grandpa. He's the one that pays for everything and gets me gigs. I don't usually get paid though. My grandpa really wants me to continue to learn and practice songs and play them for people, and he doesn't understand that that's something I'm not comfortable doing for the time being. He also doesn't believe in any type of anxiety or depression. So, I don't know what to do. I need help.
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Hey guys. I'm here again. I just kind of though about this and wanted to vent to no one, so here it is. I don't know what to say today so, bleh. This chapter, including the a/n is 463 words long. Good night! I hope you're having an awesome pride month and remember black lives matter, fuck 12, acab, eat the rich, and fuck Trump.
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My Life
Non-FictionBasically all this story is is what happens during my life. Most of it will only be interesting stuff or things I need to vent about. Some of the contents of this book may be triggering to some people so read with caution.
