After the Truth (Book One)

Twelve

Hope was not enough. The secret got out. Even after the website was shut down people still dropped dead. To this day no one knows who let the Word continue to live, or how or why they did it.

Gossip accused an agent at the CDC, angry at his cheating wife. But gossip is seldom the truth.

Behind closed doors, I sat in on several medical and scientific debates focusing on the possible mechanisms by which Word could prove so lethal. It was a week before I flew home to Geneva and was finally re-united with Isabel and the children.

When I reached my front door, I did not feel as I normally did. I was not coming back to my sanctuary, a place of comfort. Everything had changed and there were danger everywhere now.

One wrong word and I was dead.

Even with my family, the thought of the truth and only the truth, seemed a daunting prospect. Looking back, as prepare for tomorrow, I realise the terrible price we as a civilisation are about to pay: the truth has simply become too hard to say.

The boys pounced on my as soon as I was through the door. They wanted to know why I had been away so long. The questions mounted:

'Why were you away so long?' Jeremiah asked.

'You were gone ages. Is that your longest trip?' Samuel pushed in.

'Where have you been? I thought you were going to America, but Mum said you were in England.'

'Do you know what is wrong with Emiko, she's not been at school for ages and one of the teachers said something was wrong with her dad.'

'Enough!' I exploded. My sons were bombarding me with questions I dare not answer. I thought of a dozen excuses to shut them up, but I could not speak any of them.

What could I say? I had to be so very careful every time I opened my mouth.

'Enough, please. I don't want to answer any questions now.' I said honestly.

'Why not?' Jeremiah asked.

Anger welled inside my, but I let it pass. I simply stood and hugged both Jeremiah and Samuel. All too quickly we could be taken from one another. Love is truth.

I asked them to leave me alone for a while. I told them I would come and find them later.

Alone with Isabel I was as honest as I had been allowed to be by the UK and US authorities. The content of the government level meetings I attended, anything about Malcolm Privet, and any details of his website were off limits.

'I can't talk about it,' became my anthem. The truth suddenly seemed so fragile. It had to be locked away, else it would shatter.

The Word has shattered the lock and now we will all find out just how delicate we have let the truth become.

As well as the truths being smothered by national security, there was a far more dangerous truth of my own I had to protect. My problem: I had no lock I could use.

Secrets, like lies, fester. No matter what happened in the outside world in the coming weeks, months and years, our inside world would soon come crashing down.

Early on my third morning back at home, I stood on the back porch watching Jeremiah and Samuel playing in the garden. I heard the kitchen door open and turned as Isabel stuttered in the doorway, a wary expression on her face. Committed to coming out, she stepped on to the porch but stood away from me.

'Have I changed so much?' I asked. I was continuing a conversation we had started the previous evening.

Isabel didn't speak for some time, but eventually admitted, 'Yes, you have. You seem so far away now. Like you never really came back. Before, when you came back from a long trip you would be out there playing with the boys, rather than just watching them.'