Reason to Live [Michaeng]

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[200601] A/N --- 3 Chapters for today

MINA

"UGH" I whined as I felt the sun's rays on my face. I scrunched my face, remain my eyes closed and just turn my back to the window.

I was on my way back to sleep when I remember what day, today is. I abruptly open my eyes and sat down at the edge of the bed.

I was sleepy but remembering this day surely woke me up with heavy feeling.

I will see him today.

A stood up and stride to the bathroom to shower and prepare myself for this day

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At nearly nine in the morning, I was already prepared. I walk out of my apartment and descended to the stairs.

I get inside my car as I look behind seeing the 2-Story building where I have live for almost three years. I was supposed to leave this place a year ago but things happen and that changed but today I think not, though in different reason.

I started the engine and slowly drove my way to my destination as I look at the front view and took a second to every place I passed by to appreciate them.

After an hour of slow drive, I finally arrived here. I park my car in the parking lot and proceeded to the entrance of this place.

I walk slowly as I let my eyes roam around the surroundings. A lot of standing stones and green trees. There are so many names engraved to the stones. I stop as soon as I see a very familiar and meaningful name to me.

KIM MINHO
August 14, 1996 - June 1, 2019

He was my life and my ball of sunshine. Exactly a year ago I lost him. He promised me a happy life with him which we were supposed to do together infront of the god and everyone. However, he was gone a week before we can do the wedding. Instead of wearing white, I wore black. Instead of tears of joy, it was just tears.

It was funny on how our life can change abruptly with just one day. One day that changes our life... or just my entire life.

I look at his tomb while reminiscing the days we had before the accident happen. He was a perfect guy. For me, that is. He showered me with all the love and attention to make me happy. His presence enough brought it to me. But now, now that he was gone. What am I suppose to do? How can I be happy? How can I live?

It has been a year and those days I don't feel like living at all. My parents and friends are with me trying to cheer me up and make me move on. However, their words of advice and encouragement felt like a cold wind to my heart. They don't make me feel better at all. I wanted to be alone and just be with myself. It felt lonelier being with them. They don't understand me at all. How can they? They have not felt how to lose a fiance or lover.

They don't feel how my heart broke into pieces like shuttering glasses. Like every breathe I take, it breaks more into a smaller pieces.

No one. None at all. There is no one who can understanding what am I feeling. I'm alone in this world.

I take a one last look at his tomb as I send him a sad smile.

"I'll see you very soon." I whisper in the air.

I turn around and walks out of this sad place.

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Mina walks to the parking lot of the cemetery and ride her car. She drives her way on to the road without exact destination. She just drive and drive the whole day until the sun starts to set.

When she reached a road where trees surrounded it and no houses or buildings can be seen and just two or three cars passes by every ten to fifteen minutes.

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MINA

As i continue my slow drive, I look around. No one is ahead of me. No one in the left side or right side. I look behind and only just sees one car very far behind me.

This is it. I'm near. I started to speed up.

Fast.

Very Fast.

After speeding to the road for 150 KPH, I saw ahead the left turn which will take me to the abandoned road where very rarely someone passes by. A big tree is located there where I will crashed myself. Ending this. Ending me.

I'm taking my left turn when I suddenly see another car on my left who is speedier than mine about to go straight ahead. I immediately step on the break but it's too late, I am directly hitting that car.

It was not my plan to brought unfortunate incident to another person when I'm about to take my own life.

I was fast. Both of our cars were. We crashed. Or, I crashed to the other car. It's my fault. I want to apologize to the other person whom ever he or she is for bringing him or her with me in this. I'm sorry.

The impact hurts. It hurts so much but it is all physical. It is just physical and it will end. 

Everything will end. The hurt, the ache, this feeling will be gone.

Though I wanted to help the other person, I can't. I don't have energy. None at all. I can't even move my hand. Everything just hurts so much.

This air bag in front of me won't do any good. Though, I wonder why it works since I did intentionally break it yesterday. Whatever. Anyway with the impact, I'm sure this is the end. 

Everything hurting on my body. Blood flows out my face. It felt warm. I feel really dizzy. My eyes getting heavier every second.

This is the end. I'm going to die. Though I wish someone will pass here to help the other driver. I shut my eyes as my surroundings turns dark.