You can't always get what you want

(Ch.7) You can't always get what you want

Hey (: I'm sorry for the wait! But here's the next chapter. I hope you like it! And comment, vote and fan if you want (: Sorry if it's short!

Chapter 7

The weekend passed by in the blink of an eye. My grandfather's lawyer called to tell me all the papers were in process. Monday I woke up earlier than I normally do so I could take Derek to school. I know it's been only a couple of days but I already love Derek as my son. The look for apartments was hopeless. They were quite a few, but I was tight in money. I was planning to rent instead of selling this apartment. On the long run it would give me more money. Money I need to raise Derek and for my grandfather. I had savings but they weren't enough. Nonno had a lot of money saved which helps. But the money can't last forever. And his treatments were expensive.  Derek was the speck of happiness I needed. He smiled and laughed, making home less lonely. Sure he was a troublesome, but I can't help but be happy around him. Next week was Christmas, so Derek and I have only one week of class left. But I will still need to go to work.

            Unbuckling Derek, I told him goodbye. The funny thing is, he didn't cry or say he didn't want to go home. Like most of kids do. I smiled and drove off to Harvard. My hands tightened on the steering wheel as I thought of facing Blake. Why? Why does his opinion matter to me? I can't let the walls I've built crumble down. I must remember I built them up for a reason. As I park my car I close my eyes; sparks of memories flashing by. I was a teenager, even a girl. Innocence, destroyed. And my trust went with it too. Opening my eyes, I released my hands that were into fists. With an intake of breath I opened the door and got out. Putting on my poker face and blocking all my thoughts I made my way to the classroom. Why feel ashamed? Yeah so everyone would think I'm something I definitely I'm not; but what? It's not as if any of my classmates were my friends or even close to it. I was prepared for stares, whispers and even bad words but not for what I received as I opened the doors. I was enveloped in a bone-crashing hug. My eyes widening in surprise as I saw it was Blake the one who hugged me. Putting my hands in his chest I used them to push him away.

"I'm sorry. I just thought you were married. Now I know you must be a single mom. It must by hard, isn't it? He must've bailed out when you told him you were pregnant! I'm so sorry for reminding you of him!" I raised my hand to stop him.

"It's ok, though there never was a him" When I finished speaking his face was confused but I just pushed past him and went to take a seat.

            The entire class I could feel his burning stare. He tried sending my notes but I just left them unread. Its better this way, I told myself. I can't let myself be hurt again. As soon as the class ended I was out the door before anyone could blink. What to do now? There are still hours until Derek finishes school and I'm not in the mood to go to the hospital. Maybe I could buy the newspaper and then go to Starbucks to check for apartments. It will be a long day.

            I searched blindly for the light switch in my apartment. I found it and the living room was filled with light. Derek was holding my hand, yawning. He told me he made friends in the fist day, but that he missed me.

"Come on sweetie, let's get you to bed" I smiled and after changing into his pajama went to sleep.

            On the weekend I had taken him shopping. I could only buy a couple of t-shirts, a pair of jeans and two pajamas. I wish I could give him more. Today I finally found an apartment that looked compromising and I was going to be able to pay with the rent of my apartment. I will have to ask to put an advertisement on the news paper. I already called the apartment owner and he told me he would save it for me. When I made sure Derek was asleep I went to start on my homework. It was about one in the morning when I finally finished it. I could barely keep my eyes open. With effort I made my way to the kitchen and made myself dinner. After taking and bath and dressing in shorts and a tank top I went to bed. Another night of nightmares came to me.