The Witch's Familiar

Chapter 64

"Magelet, you really should get a new familiar," Loki told you one night as you were sitting on your bed brushing him. That was less weird as he was in cat-form at the time. You were in your room, sitting cross-legged on your bed in your pajamas with Loki in cat form on your lap while you brushed out his soft fur. He occasionally turned into a cat to ease your symptoms of familiar withdrawal. It was getting more frequent as the wedding was drawing closer and closer and the stress you were under with wedding plans was only increasing.

"I know, Lokitty, but one hasn't chosen me yet," you reminded him how it worked. You'd told him enough times by now that he should know. You had a feeling he didn't quite believe you about the familiar finding process. He knew you were reluctant to get a new familiar after Seraphina. Your heart was still healing. You were doing a lot better, but there was still healing.

And a hole in your heart that would only be filled by a new familiar.

You were still reluctant to find a new one. Still afraid that you would fail the next one like you'd failed Sera.

"Magelet..." Loki replied with doubt and disbelief dripping off of his voice. He knew you were stalling. He knew you too well. He also knew just how much you needed his support in feline form at the moment.

Your own cat ears and tail popped out at his doubt and disbelief, as an automatic defense to protect yourself. You'd finally ditched having the ears and tail full, time, but they still appeared on occasion. Like now when your body and mind thought it needed protecting. Unfortunately, it had the exact opposite effect. "Lokitty, I know I need one eventually, but..."

"You won't fail another familiar, darling," Loki reassured you. He moved to turn back human and pulled you into his arms. "You didn't fail Sera. She made her choices on her own. You gave her all the chances in the world, including letting her be reborn. You can't keep living in the past and you have to learn to take care of yourself, and not just everyone around you," Loki told you gently as he rubbed your back. You both knew that you hadn't actually looked for a new familiar. You also both knew that he was right and you did need to find a new familiar.

He could only help you so much for so long.

You were too powerful of a witch to go without a familiar for long, and you were stronger since you'd gotten the black focus jewel on Asgard. You wore it permanently in the handflower on the back of your left hand. It had been what gave you the power to take down the dragon, but that power didn't just vanish. It only continued to grow.

Which meant that you really did need a familiar. And soon. Power had been known to drive witches crazy without a familiar to keep them grounded. Loki could mask the symptoms for you in cat form for a time, but only for a time.

You both felt that time was running out.

"I won't let you fade into madness, my love," Loki told you gently as he rubbed your back to calm you. "I love you too much," he added and you could hear the pain in his voice he was trying to hide. You knew he was imagining you as a broken shell of yourself, lost to madness, trapped in your own mind and power. You'd seen it happen before, so you knew the risks. You couldn't do that to yourself or Loki.

It was time.

You had to admit that it was time.

You pulled back enough to look up into Loki's eyes. "I'm scared," you admitted softly. You were scared to get a new familiar, scared to fail them, scared you weren't strong enough or capable enough to care for one.

Loki gave you a warm, gentle, smile. "You have nothing to fear," he reassured you. "You will make a wonderful witch for any familiar. Trust yourself, darling. One will choose you, and you'll be perfect together,"

"Will... will you come with me?" You asked softly. You weren't sure you could do this alone. You were strong, and generally independent, but for this, for this you needed help and you weren't too proud to ask for it. Especially not from Loki, who understood you better than anyone.

Loki leaned down and kissed you softly. "Of course, magelet. All you ever had to do was ask," Loki replied. He stood then and offered you his hand. "Shall we?" You knew that he wanted you to do this before you lost your nerve, or found yet another excuse to procrastinate.

You focused on your cat-ears and tail and took a moment to vanish them. You were trying to get away from having them and them popping in at inopportune times wasn't exactly helping. You knew they'd go away permanently eventually, just as Loki's had. It was just a side effect of being stuck as a cat for so long.

You stood when they were gone, summoning your professor's robes as you did. Loki followed suite in dressing properly for the occasion. "You really think one will want me?" You asked Loki as you took his hand.

He gave you a warm smile. "I believe there will be a line of every single familiar there wanting to be yours," he told you before he pulled you close to him and teleported you to the magic school's borders.

Even without the headmistress waiting for you, the shields let you in without question. You were teachers of the school and the shields recognized you. You and Loki made your way inside and to the room where the familiars were, where Sera's egg was.

You knew that Sera wasn't going to be your familiar again. It wasn't the right fit. You took a deep breath and squeezed Loki's hand before you could step into the room. "I'm right here, magelet. You'll be fine," he reassured you.

You looked up at him and gave him a warm smile. "Thank you, princeling," you grinned, teasing him with the nickname. He didn't have cat features at the moment, so he was princeling instead of Lokitty. He laughed and you both relaxed as you headed inside.

One of the boarding students was on duty watching over the familiars. They and the professors took it in shifts to make sure there was always someone there. "Good evening, professors," she greeted you politely.

"Good evening, Tilly. I'm here to look for a new familiar," you explained to her. She nodded her agreement and let you peruse as you wished. It wasn't like she would have stopped you, but when she was asked about your visit, she would have an answer to give the professor in charge of the familiars.

You wandered the room, looking over all the variety of animals there: kittens, owls, ravens, a couple of puppies, a snake, Sera's egg. None of them were right and you were about to give up when you spotted the black eyes peeking out curiously at you from a basket under one of the tables in the room. You moved closer to investigate and saw the red muzzle as you approached. The creature squeaked and dove back under its blanket. You knelt on the floor next to its basket. "It's alright, little one. I'm not going to hurt you," you reassured it gently, carefully. This creature felt like it needed you.

It peeked its head out from under the blanket and you saw it was a fox kit with fuzzy red fur and bright intelligent eyes. Foxes were known for being mischievous little creatures. It seemed like the perfect match. "What's your name?" You asked it gently.

/My name is Autumn/ she replied in your mind in clearly a female voice. She sounded shy, but so very curious.

"It's lovely to meet you, Autumn. Would you like to be my new familiar?" You asked her gently, projecting the feeling of home and safety and love to her. She would find all of those with you as your companion.

She lit up in delight. /Yes!/ she agreed quickly and leapt into your arms, licking your face with kisses as you both laughed in delight.

Loki chuckled behind you. "I see you've been chosen after all, magelet," he said warmly in a clearly superior tone, not noticing the little wolf pup who had crept over to him and was sniffing at his shoes.