My first love, first heartbreak. Unrequited, he played me and dragged me until I couldn't emotionally stabilize myself. I was a leech to him, I fell for him so hard and so fast, he was perfect, he was the first guy who ever found me attractive, or at least said he did. He was hurt before he found me, his girlfriend dragged on a loveless relationship, leading him on and breaking his heart. He opened up to me about it, we started talking. I found he was self destructive, physically. Drinking, driving, vaping, had a nicotine addiction. He got drunk one night and got in a small accident, I almost cried. He got drunk again, started sharing how he wanted to get over his nicotine addiction. He was destructive to my emotional state, I didn't know it then. He would ignore me for weeks at a time, then come back like nothing happened. But he ended up telling me secrets that I will take to my grave, just as general respect for another human being. I ignored him ignoring me, he was slowly killing me. We got into an argument (the only argument between us, surprisingly) about his self destructive behaviors, and I made the mistake of saying I loved him, but in a family type of way. He was my best friend, of course I loved him, I was a fool. He said it that night. He said he loved me and I said it back and I went to bed, while he probably went to one of his other girls to get some. Now I see that he wasn't even that cute, why did I love him? We started talking some time around New Years Eve when I had a meltdown to him about me wanting to be a different person, and it ended that May, we just fell off, stopped talking. I finally stopped liking him in June, it stopped hurting as much in July. I stopped thinking of him every day in September. I was bitter ever since.
