Youth & Whiskey ≫ Andy Biersack

Chapter 12 - All I Want To Do Is Live

~~~Betsy's POV~~~

The signing eventually ended, just after 3:15 meaning there were more fans than planned. The guys looked like they enjoyed themselves. But Andy, Andy was another story. He seemed too happy. Above the slurring the words, one poor (or probably lucky in their eyes) not only was hugged, but Andy almost fell asleep on her shoulder. He also had to leave once or twice to throw up, so I suppose he was more sober at the end than the begining but straight after it ended he practically ran off for another jug of whiskey. Jake gave me a look telling me I should talk to Andy, I sighed and followed him.

"Andy?"

"Y-yes? I'm here, I'm fine" He slurred.

"You're not fine" I scoffed. "and I need to talk to you"

"Why would a pretty girl need to talk to me? None have other than whores since Betsy left" He huffed.

"About Betsy..."

"You know her?" His eyes shot up as he stumbled towards me.

"Kinda. I need to tell you something. I-I'm Betsy" I stuttered out.

"W-what? are you serious? I missed you so much" He slurred and put hi hands on my cheeks, I gentley pushed them off.

"W-why did you leave? what we had was good, well clearly not good enough for you" I knew I picked the right time to talk to Andy, when he's drunk he has no filter on his feelings.

"I know you won't remember this when you're sober, but oh well. When I was 8, my grandad died of alcohol poisoning. Numerous occasions he would drink lots of whiskey, like loads. And when he was drunk, he wasn't himself. He had 2 sides when he was drunk. The side where he has no filter on his emotions and was honest about everything, and the side where everything had to be his way. If he felt like doing something to my grandma, he wouldn't let us stop him. And that's why I left. When you were drunk and trying to touch me up, it made me think of that. I didn't want that kind of relationship. And with all of you drinking alcohol on tour, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to feel like you couldn't drink. Don't take it personally."

I handed Andy a drink of water, which sobered him up a bit. He sat down and stared directly into my eyes.

"I never meant to trigger that emotion Betsy, I am so sorry. I promise you I would never act like that. Since you've been gone, I've just been drinking, and drinking, and drinking. I was so down in the dumps when you left, I blamed my self for pushing you away just like I do with every other girl. I really want to become close with you again, all the guys do. Please" He stood back up "come back to us"

"I would love to" Andy smiled "But how would I be able to deal with you all when you're drunk? I dont want to be the reason you all try to stay sober"

"You won't be. On tour, the guys only go out drinking when we have a free day the next and stay at hotels. You'd be fine, I'd never let anyone hurt you"

"But the thing is Andy, you've been on the whiskey so long, you're addicted. I can already tell you're itching for a drink by how you keep looking around and tapping your knuckles"

"So what? You think it's too late to save me? Well it's not! I can't promise I'll heal, but I can promise to try. Please" He pleaded.

"I-I don't know. Look, my shift here is over. I'll text you tonight so we can meet again tomorrow, but with the whole band. Okay?"

"Okay. I guess" He looked down and walked back to the bus.

As I walked past it I could hear Ashley and CC saying how he'd pulled me or whatever, which they were wrong about. Maybe a year ago he would've, but right now I'm just focused on him being sober again.

~~~Andy's POV~~~

I walked onto the bus after my chat with Betsy, itching for a drink. As I got on I immediately heard Ashley wolf whistle and CC laugh. I'm guessing they don't know it's her.

"Andy looks like you managed to pull man!" CC chuckled

"You might wanna try and keep her away from us two" Ashley said and pointed to himself and CC.

"Not in the mood, guys. Jinxx, where's the whiskey?"

"Third cupboard, but none for you Andy. You've gotta sober up man." he repled.

"All I want is some fucking whiskey" I chuckled "I'm an adult. I drink away my problems. It's what we do" I made my way over to the cupboard.

"Andy, there are better ways to handle problems. You didn't see me on the alcohol when me and Sammi divorced, you know how devasted I was"

I took a swig of the drink "But the thing is,Jinxx," I took another drink "You didn't really feel sad, did you? I mean we all know when you got home you most likely banged some random chicks and was fine straight after. You kept saying your love for Sammi, but once you were married you had enough. I bet you couldn't wait to divorce her last year."

"That was out of order, Andy" Ashley said and made his way over to me, attempting to take the drink off me.

"I'm sick of not being able to say anything without it being 'out of order'. I'm almost 24, I-I can say what I want to, Ashley. " I pulled the bottle away.

"Andy. There's limits to what you can and can't say outloud. Thoughts go through my head all the time but I don't say them outloud, because I know it could hurt or offend someone" CC piped up.

"I just wanna fucking live, is that so much to ask for? And look at you Jake. You're just sitting silently, probably thinking about your dogs and Ella because they're more important than the band" His head shot up at that comment, glares soon started coming out like daggers.

"I think you need some air, Andy. Let's just take you to your hotel room so we can all have some space" Ashley said.

We got back to our hotel and soon Ashley helped me into the hotel room. He tried taking the bottle of me but I just held on to it. As soon as he left I drank half the bottle in no time.

"All I want to do is live. I'm nearly 24 and here I am moping over a girl who doesn't want to know me because of this stupid devil!" I threw the bottle at the wall, smashing it instantly.

"I-I just want her back. I want to go back to last year, is that too much?" I broke down. hard. Sobs pouring out, as well as my heart and feelings. I was about to take a bottle of Jack Daniels out when my phone made a sound. I had a message.

-Hey Andy, it's Betsy. I'm kinda hoping you're sober now. Can we meet tomorrow, outside your hotel? Bring the guys aswell. Around 12? x

Shit. Wait, does she want to know me again? All I've done is mess up, I wouldn't blame her if she as just gonna yell at me tomorrow. I texted her what I remembered of the hotel. I took a drink of Jack, and flopped down on my bed. All I am is a big, drunken mess that offends everyone every chance I get and can't get enough of the whiskey. I'm just nothing.

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Hey! I just want to say the reads on the past two chapters blew my mind! The chapters all have 20 or so and then Chapters 10 and 11 are in the 40's and 50's! What?!

Also, you may have noticed Just Friends is deleted. Yeah, that story was awful.

*unedited*