Undertale AUs but it's mostly shitpost

More shitpost

I don't have anything to say, err, Happy Pride ig.

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This could go for Star Sanses or Villains.

Sci/Nightmare: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die it's venomous.
Blue/Raspberry: What if it bites me and it dies?
Sci/NM: That means you're poisonous.
Dream/Cross: What if bites itself and I die?
Sci/NM: That's voodoo.
Ink/Error: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Sci/NM: That's correlation, not causation.
Geno/Dust: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Lust/Horror: That's kinky.

*That's on Jared*

Ink: PJ WE NEED TO LEAVE! COME OUT!
PaperJam: I'M GAY!
Ink:
Ink: NOT WHAT I MEANT BUT I SUPPORT YOU!
Error: PJ HURRY UP!

*That's on- *jumps off counter* I'M GAY*

Killer: So as your boyfriend-
Cross: Nightmare's my boyfriend.
Killer:
Killer: AS YOUR BOYFRIEND!

*That's on Krossmare*

Horror: Why did you call me this late?
Lust: I did something really bad.
Horror: Kay, put the corpse on ice, I'll be there in a bit.
Lust: What? No I di- kay, why would I-

*That's on Bloodlust*

SS!Chara: You think I could fit 10 marshmallows in my mouth?
Stretch: You're a hazard to society.
Classic: And a coward. Do twenty.

*That's on the Bad Time Trio*

Dust: No.
Lust: Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream!
Lust: Merrily, merrily, merrily!
Lust: I can make you scream.
Horror: That last part is actually stepping into serial killer territory.

*That's on more Bloodlust, but ft. Dust*

Blue: Every odd number an 'E' in it.
Dream: Whoa...
Ink: It's 3:00 AM.
Blue: thrEE

*That's on the Star Sanses*

Blue: Happiness starts with H right?
Dust: Yeah.
Blue: Then why does mine start with U?
Dust: Uh...

*That's on Dustberry*

Ink: L, is for the way you Look at me...
Dream: O is for the Only One I see
Blue: V, if Very, Very extraordinary
Classic: egg.

*That's on Egg*

Reaper: *Opens door for Geno* After you~
Geno: No you first!
Reaper: I insist!
Geno: So do I!
Classic: *Pushes past them* After me.

*That's on AfterDeath ft. Classic*

Dust: Can someone please hire a hitman to kill me?
Blue:
Blue: How about I hire myself as a hugman to hug you?

*That's on more Dustberry*

Ink: Hey Error! How does this suit look?
Error: Looks good. I wish I could pull that off.
Ink:
Ink: No one is stopping you.
Error: What?
Ink: What?

*That's on Errink*

Ink: Can you guys just TRY to see thing from my perspective?
Dream: *Crouches down*
Error: *Gets on knees*
Ink:
Ink: I will kill both of you in your sleep.

BONUS

Blue: *Gets on tippy toes(?)*
Ink: I love you.

*That's on squid*

Hardcore Krossmare Shipper: You guys are definitely dating.
Nightmare: No! We're straight, and not polyamorous.
Hardcore Krossmare Shipper: Guys! Raise your hands if you think Cross, Killer, and Nightmare are dating!
Nightmare: Stop!
*Krossmare Club Raises their hands*
Nightmare:
Nightmare: Cross, Killer, put your hands down!

*That's on more Krossmare*

Sci: Hey, Fell, can you carry this box? It's a little heavy.
Fell: *Picks it up effortlessly* Nothing is heavier than the weight of my depression!
Sci: I'm both equally impressed and concerned.

*That's on SciFell*

Error: In light of what you did today, you can hug me for 4-5 seconds.
Ink: 45 SECONDS?!
Error: NO 4-5!

*That's on more Errink*

Meanwhile, with at the Star Sans base:
Lust: What if the sex toys in Toy Story were also real?
Classic: No...
Lust: You got a friend IN me.
Ink: *Spits out drink*

*That's on stealing Sanders Sides quotes*

Blue: You don't want Geno to die!
Blue: I don't want Geno to die!
Blue: Now we just have to make sure Geno doesn't want Geno to die.
Reaper: Fantastic plan!
Reaper: But have you met Geno?

*That's on AfterDeath ft. Blue*

Cross: Do you want to hang out at McDonald's with us?
Killer: My heart says yes...
Killer: But my anxiety says no.
Cross: Sorry, all I heard was 'yes'.
Cross: C'mon! Let's go hang out in the ballpit!
Killer: CROSS MY ANXIETY SAYS NO!
Cross: LISTEN TO YOUR HEART!
Killer: CROSS-
Cross: B A L L P I T

*That's on Kross*

Classic: I wanna be a caterpillar.
Sci: Explain.
Classic: Eat a lot.
Classic: Sleep.
Classic: Wake up beautiful.
Sci: You know they have a lifespan of about a week right?
Classic: That's another highlight.

*That's on depresso expresso*

SS!Chara: Guys... I think I have a bad idea...
Classic: What kinda bad idea?
Stretch: I would prefer a good idea.

*That's on more Bad Time Trio*

Killer: So... what now?
Dust: Uh... I don't know.
Horror: What do you mean you don't know?! This was your plan!
Dust: Yeah! But I didn't think we'd actually get this far.

*That's on the Murder Time Trio*

Blue: I'm sending good vibes your way.
Blue: They're coming.
Blue: And there's NOTHING you can do to stop them!
Dust: That's the most threatening way I've been cheered up.

*That's on more Dustberry*

Classic: I just took a five hour nap.
Sci: I think that's called sleeping
Geno: I'm pretty sure it's also 15 hour nap but okay.

*That's on stealing Danplan Incorrect Quotes*