letters ; wayv

to: winwin

dear winwin,

     hey gege, how are you? i hope you're doing well. you may remember me, you may not, but i wanted to send this to you anyways. i don't know if you're still with your parents or not at this point, but oh well...it's going there anyway.

     you know why i left, but i never got to truly say a good goodbye to you. i'm sorry. though i knew i was going to move days before, i got the flu right before. i got better to the point where i was still ok to travel, but i missed school (wait, we were already out of school at this point), and i missed a chance to talk to you. so here you go, an explanation. you're probably mad, but knowing you, you've probably let it go by now.

     i remember how sudden the move here was. i only had one night to pack, i broke a few things, i'm pretty sure, and i wasn't able to say goodbye to my friends. i managed to get the message to them, though (i hope). i've been to mainland china once or twice, but i'd never been to wenzhou. every move is different, after all, so the new environment, like each one, was unsettling and made me nervous. the first day of school, i kept my head low, but for the first time ever, i got targeted by bullies.

     it wasn't much, though, just teasing to "put down the new kid," but that made everyone distant. already labeled as an outcast, i sat alone for a while, several days. then one day, i decided to sit at a different table for a change. i didn't wanna mope around. so i chose a different table. there was only one person. and that was you.

     for the first few days, nothing really happened. we kept to ourselves and didn't speak. i guess we were both shy. the first time we talked was when you were at the table without food. i was carrying my food tray. i asked you if you forgot your lunch, and you nodded. i gave you my apple and went back into the line to buy you some chips. you said thanks, and we left it at that. but then we became friends, gradually talking more and more after that moment.

     i found out how different we were. we were basically polar opposites: the annoying, extroverted kid who was always boisterous versus the quiet, introverted kid who kept to himself. but i guess opposites attract, because we were always with each other. even if i only stayed for about a year. i later found out that you weren't exactly an introvert, but an ambivert. you can be loud sometimes, especially when you're with friends. maybe i rubbed off on you lol. also, i don't care how many times you deny this, but you. are. ADORABLE!

     people thought we were weird, the new kid and the quiet one, and you started getting targeted for bullying, too. same thing as i got, the teasing, except you were teased for your shyness and for hanging out with me. I'm sorry for that. i hope the bullies didn't bother you throughout your entire high school time.

     remember that one time during break when i saw you dancing in the dance classroom? i came early to escape the annoying bullies and saw you dancing. sorry for scaring you, but dong sicheng, no matter what everyone says, don't stop dancing. you're so graceful and flowing when you dance, something that i don't think i would ever be able to do or achieve. i know that your unsure about what you want to do in the future, but here's my advice: i think you're smart enough and logical enough to be able to do anything, but just because you're smart enough to, for instance, be a doctor, doesn't mean you have to. follow what makes you passionate. personally, i think you could be an amazing dancer, or maybe an actor, but follow your heart.

     by the time you get this, i'm gonna be in south korea. you see, i'm chasing my dream to become an idol. you know how much i love dancing and rapping, and music in general. i got accepted into a few companies, and now i just need to decide. i got SM, JYP, and BigHit to choose from, but i've most likely made my decision by the time you get this. i know that the idol life is strenuous and vigorous, but i don't care. i'm prepared for it and i gotta face it to make it.

     i just want to say thank you for being friends with me, even when you got bullied and made fun of for hanging out with me. i got rid of that shitty flip phone and got a smartphone, finally, so here's my number, call me if you want: xxx-xxx-xxxx. thank you for opening up to me at the lunch table. thank you for being a friend. thank you, thank you, thank you!

yours truly, yangyang