Her Ensemble (Hunter x Hunter fanfiction)

Chapter 1

I laid on the couch in deep thought after the call with my mom. Reminiscing all the memories till I had gone through them twice. The silence of the house was beginning to suffocate me, and I felt the urge to make some type of noise.

That urge was cut off by the sound of my stomach grumbling. I sluggishly got up and headed out to get groceries, since I just barely moved in. I looked up the nearest grocery store on my phone and found a couple in walking distance.

I hastily threw on my shoes and a sweatshirt because it was raining outside. I locked my apartment and went on my way. In times like these I love walking outside. The rain is like music to my ears and it soothes me. Plus I have no need for a car because the university is in walking distance of my apartment and many stores as well.

As I step in the puddles on the sidewalk I fantasize about making friends. No one wants to be alone forever. I know I don't. I decided that this was what I was going to do. I am going to make some friends at my university, and I won't feel as lonely anymore. The problem is I don't know what I am going to say. There were a couple of different ways I could approach this.

"Hi I am Rosemary Longwood. I just moved here and wanted to know if you would be my friend!" I cringed at myself. That is something an eight year old would say. It makes sense I wouldn't comprehend what to say because I've never truly had friends.

Flashback

Eight year old me standing alone at recess watching as kids run past me playing tag and kickball.

A girl from my class runs past me and stops to look at me curiously. After several moments she excitedly said, "Hey Rosemary! Do you want to play tag with us?" The other kids playing tag with her slowed down to view the exchange.

I stared at her hard wondering why she would all the sudden invite me to play. She and all the other classmates never bothered to before. They instead called me weird for being alone all the time and avoided me like the plague. Nevertheless, I started to get excited because this is the first time I was going to actually hang out with kids my age because of course hanging out with your music teacher doesn't count.

"Yeah I would like to play with you guys!" I exclaimed with a huge grin on my face. I started to walk forward and by now all my classmates playing tag had stopped to look at me approach. Then as I walked towards them, someone stuck their foot out and tripped me. I fell hard to the ground and landed on my right arm.

"Ow!" I cried as I sat up clutching my arm. I had scraped my arm and now it was bleeding. It didn't hurt as bad compared to my classmates who started laughing at me. My face started to flush, and I just wanted to go hide in the classroom alone.

"You really thought we were going to let you play with us," she sneered at me. Her demeanor that seemed friendly at first was now full of haughtiness. "You must be really stupid to ever think we would ever be friends with you yet alone play with you." My other classmates murmured in agreement and started to laugh again at me. At that moment I wanted to hide my face and cry, but I instead shakily got up on my feet and attempted to walk away.

She scoffed,"Where do you think you're going?" At this my classmates then started to surround me in a circle. I immediately became fearful for myself because I was surrounded by twelve of my classmates with no teachers or yard duties around to help me. I was terrified. I didn't do anything wrong. I never bullied anyone or hurt anybody in any way. Why did this have to happen to me?

They started to close in on me and then started to push me around back and forth. I was crying now and begging them to stop, but this made them laugh more. I was crying for help at this point, and they started yanking my hair. I was being thrown around like a rag doll and no one cared. 

Finally, one of the teachers who just happened to be walking by heard me yelling for help. They rushed over and my classmates immediately stopped allowing me to fall to the floor. The teacher shoved kids aside and hurried to my aid. At that moment the teacher called the office for more help and began writing down all of my classmate's names.

Flashback ends

Everything after that incident was a blur. I remembered my classmates were expelled but came back over time. I couldn't move or change classrooms, so I merely kept my mouth shut and my head down. I stayed away from everyone and chose to seclude myself to the music room as much as I can. That was how I got to become so passionate for music because it supported me through the rest of the years. I realized as a kid that being alone is what's best because no one can hurt me except for myself. Regardless of that I still required something to keep the loneliness at bay and music was the way to cope with being alone.

It kept me happy. I was already learning to read music with my music teacher before the incident, but afterwards I put all my efforts and thoughts into music. I studied and practiced music every day to keep the loneliness away. I ultimately grew used to doing this every day that it became a habit. I was filled with emotions that I didn't know how to release, and I was able to do it by playing instruments. By the time I reached seventeen I had learned how to play tons of different instruments really well, but my favorite being the violin since that was my first instrument I ever picked up.

I loved the sounds it produced and the feel of the bow in my hand. It was like an extension of my arm and everything about the violin just seemed to fit. My violin was my partner in crime. I usually had it on me all the time carrying the case on my back because it helped me feel less alone. But, in cases where I need to carry other things or pick stuff up I leave it at home.

I do realize that as a child I may have isolated myself and felt that for a person like me that's what I should do. But now, I want to change that. I want to be able to be myself and open up to others without the fear of rejection. I just need to find the right friends. I know they are out there somewhere and when I find them I will never let them go.