1992

chapter nine

graham

i woke up to the light beams of sunlight blinding me and to the sound of a heart beat.

i slowly began opening my eyes and regaining sight, lifting my head slowly, like trying to orient myself.

i had fallen asleep into damon's chest and i was practically lying on him.

i tried to make memory of what had happened last night.
he had found out about my ex-lover, elijah.
he had found out that i was gay.

did he really had told me that he didn't mind that i was one at all?

i wasn't sure on what to feel about it.

i had this terrible nightmare last night about macquoid. he had assaulted me and even tried to take my life. i remember he had this dead look on his face, carrying a wide smile and blood coming out of his head and eyes, while pointing a gun at me.

'please, don't hurt me.' i had repeated multiple times until i woke up, crying and sweating from all the slight terror i was feeling, my heart beating violently. i felt like it was gonna leave my chest.

i felt like i was going to pass out until damon had approached me and had squeezed me tightly, very tightly with his arms, where i always felt safe, doing all he could to make me feel better, telling me everything was gonna be okay.

oh, sweet damon.
he was always too sweet and gentle to me, what did he ever do to deserve such an insecure, self-conscious guy who couldn't be able to stand for himself like me?

i got up and glanced at the clock.

7:47am

shit, we were late for school.

'damon? damon, wake up. it's late.' i shook him to wake him up.
'nah, we're fine.' he said as he rolled back, his back facing me.
'it's 7:47, we even missed one class.'
'then let's skip school for today.'
'we only got tomorrow left, come on.' i grabbed his arm and pulled it so he would get up.

~

the final bell rang, the sound of chairs screeching and chatter of students almost drowning it out, pushing and bumping into each other.
i'm usually the last person to leave the room, either i'm drawing on my sketchbook or i'm distracted by my own thoughts, always overthinking.

when everyone left the room, i began walking downstairs, taking the path that led to the exit to walk to the parking lot and meet damon there. like we always did.

i went to where his car was parked, but he wasn't there yet so i assumed he was just leaving class or something got on his way.
he actually would talk to a few people on his class, but he told me they were boring pricks to call them his friends.

i guess i was a boring prick too, but somehow he managed to bear with me.

from a distance, i distinguish macquoid walking. he was walking towards me.

i remembered the dream i had last night where he was the main character and tried to kill me. the picture of his dead look on his face still remained in my head.

my blood froze and chills ran down my body.

shit, shit, shit. i'm fucked.

i tried to open the car to see if, there was any chance the door would actually open.

nothing.

in a very stupid attempt to hide myself from him, i went to the other side of the car and crouched. i wished with all my might that he wouldn't be able to see me.