1992

chapter fourteen

graham

weeks passed by and christmas eve was finally here, my favorite holiday.

it was that time when cold and brutally gusts of wind slipped through the window.
winter time in colchester is such a pain when you aren't used to it.

i had missed this feeling.
i had missed the feeling of the christmas spirit.

my parents had invited me to this pretentious dinner party hosted by my dad and some of his other co-workers.
i appreciated the offer but i denied it since i knew it was gonna be full of long-faced people, i mean, they were all lawyers.

it wasn't really my thing to be surrounded by people like them, plus i hated to wear suits.

damon told me he was only spending a bit of time with his family since they were invited to this other dinner party and had told them he was planning to go out with me and spend some time alone together again.

to be honest, we hadn't planned on something but he suggested we should go somewhere else, like an amusement park, or a museum or even the park from a few weeks ago again if the point was just to spend the time together.

the thought of us being on a ferris wheel, holding hands while sharing kisses sounded like that typical cliché scene from a teen romance movie, but i had to admit that picturing it made feel like if i had just tried this particular drug that would make me feel insanely euphoric.

damon, oh sweet damon. what have you done to me?

i was grinning like an idiot, feeling my cheeks hot and covering my face from the embarassment.

~

damon had taken me to dedham art & craft center, a very well known museum situated in the heart of constable country on the essex/suffolk border.
it's housed in a converted church of this popular village, the centre exudes historic charm and is the perfect place to visit, shop and eat.

three floors showcase the work of more than sixty artisans and the inspired buying skills of specialist retailers, the perfect place to explore for the casual browser and enthusiastic shopper.

from paintings, photography, ceramics, textiles, jewellery, collectible teddy bears and children's toys to fashion accessories, greeting cards, interiors and antiques.

there was something to appeal to all tastes and pockets.

as we were admiring and praising every element that conformed this astounding, beautiful paradise, i felt damon interlocking his fingers with mine.

my heart stopped for a bit.

'what- what are you doing? everyone can see us.' i replicated as i was trying to take my hand away from his but he only squeezed harder.
'and what if they do? fuck what other people think about us. it's their problem, not ours.' he said, smirking and swinging our arms.

he gave me a quick kiss on the lips and i couldn't help it but blush.

oh damon, you cheeky little bastard.

~

we ended up being exhausted from walking for hours and hours around the small town of colchester and decided to go back to damon's place.

'dammit, there's only one cigarette left.' he said as he tapped on the pack to take out the cig.
'do you wanna share it?' he asked as he placed it on his lips and lit it.

i nodded and he handed it to me.

damon still made fun of me for saying they were gross sometimes when we first became friends.

as we finished sharing the last cigarette, we laid on damon's bed, both of us staring at the ceiling and our fingers interlaced.

'i wanna talk about what's going on between us.' he said as he put out the cigarette in the ashtray.

i turned to him to face him, my head resting on my hand, arching an eyebrow, looking at him intrigued.

it made me nervous.

i wasn't really used to openly talking about feelings and being confrontional anymore. i guess it had been due to my trust issues after my incident with elijah. maybe i wasn't ready to talk about these things again.

'well, i suppose saying that i like you is pretty obvious at this point. that goes without saying.' he said as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

'i like that you get all pouty when i would make fun of you- not in a hurtful way of course, or call you names like namby pamby and you wouldn't talk to me and ignore me everytime i'd try talking to you.' he giggled.

i blushed as i gave him a sheepish grin.

'i like when you let me embrace you and hold your hand, even though you don't like it when we do it on public.
i like when you make those grimaces and rub your face with your hands and play with your hair all the time.'

'i like when your face turns that pretty pink color. it looks cute on you.' he said as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

i blushed even more. i was feeling like a volcano erupting now.

'stop.' i said, giggling.

'i like when you get all happy when you learn a new song on your guitar and let me listen to it, or when you show me one of your drawings and let me compliment them.
i like when you let me try my best to make you feel better everytime you feel down.'

'but most importantly, i like that i might be falling harder for this beautiful and wonder boy in front of me than i could had ever imagined.'

he made a short pause before continuing.

'i know i also have my mistakes and i could sometimes screw up, but i wouldn't like to hurt you. ever. i wouldn't forgive myself for it. i want to treat you right, as it should be. i want this to work between us. i want us to do the best of it to make it work.'

'you are the most significant person to me, believe it or not.'

i looked at him in disbelief. i was trying to process such things damon had just told me.

god, he was a beautiful human being.

'oh damon, you should have warned me about being too much of a sap before.' i said, grinning at him.

he rolled his eyes.

'i also forgot to mention that i want to be slow with you in some other things too.' he said.
'what do you mean?' i asked, curious.
'well you know, i've been with other girls and stuff but i've never been with anyone before- sexually and i assumed you have- you know.'

i glanced at him at first, confused on what he meant by that until-

oh boy. this means he has never done it with-

i felt my breath hitch and my cheeks turning red, feeling hot.

'oh, no, no, no, we- elijah and i never-'

he bursted out laughing, tears in the corner of his eyes forming and me feeling all awkward and beyond embarassed.

'okay, okay. i get it.' he said, recovering from the laughter before taking a deep breath.

'anyways, what do you think?' he said as he scratched his arm and looking straight into my eyes and looking nervous, as if regretted asking that, scared i was going to come up with the answer he didn't expect to hear.

i inhaled and exhaled deeply.

'i love it.' i mouthed.

he smiled and glanced at the clock.

12:01am

'merry chirstmas love.' he said, kissing me softly on the lips.
'merry christmas, sap.' i said as he gave my shoulder a gentle shove.