Black Roses, White Feathers

Chapter 6: "I miss my bed"

 I sat sullenly on the cold floor of the boy's bathroom. Her words tore apart the wall I made to barricade my feelings. Those words, those icy words. I thought there was something between us, even a mere friendship. That day in literature lass became obsolete. It was nothing anymore, it had lost its meaning. I could feel the tickling sensation of tears running down my face, my hands became sore wiping every one that fell. No matter how much I wiped, they never stopped. My eyes were a river amid a storm, the current was beastly, and it endlessly flowed. 

My body suddenly jumped. The door had opened. That is when he strolled in, all dressed in denim, his long auburn hair caressing his shoulders, it was Samuel.

He jumped at the sight of my sullen state. He never said a word. He just stared at me blankly. He walked closer to me and took a sit near me. He never uttered a word he just sat there. Why? It was torture to be in such a depressed mood and have someone sit near you, witnessing you weep. My conscious screamed at the realization of the situation. After five minutes. He patted my shoulder and said.

"Don't worry bud everything is going to be fine"

"..."

"You know people make men crying such a taboo, but in reality, we all cry, I cry all the time, just to let some things out" Samuel said calmly

"..."

"Cry all you want, get everything out your system, you can't hold everything in you know, sometimes you have to let it out"

And with those words more tears came. At this point I wailed and howled in agony. I cried my eyes out. All I heard was Samuel uttering softly "everything is going to be alright bud, let it out". After what seemed like hours, the bell rang. I got up and looked in the mirror. My eyes were teary and bloodshot red. I felt like a weight had been lifted. I looked over at Samuel still sitting there.

"Thanks" I spoke weakly

"No problem, if you need a therapist, I'm the one to call okay" he said chuckling

"Why were you in here anywhere" I asked

"I was on my way to practice a new song but I heard someone crying in the bathroom, so I came in" He said

"well thanks again, I'm going get some lunch" I spoke

"Anytime bro" He answered

I left the bathroom feeling a lot better. Who knew crying was so powerful. I dreaded being bombarded with questions about my red eyes so I went to the back of the school for some peace. The back of the school was tranquil and quiet, the only downside was the strong scent of weed and cigarettes, but I did not mind it. On my way I saw her. Alice. At this point I didn't care for her, she hurt me. I didn't really want to see her. I kept my head straight and walked passed her. We were practically acquainted strangers, so it was best to act like it. I sat down against a tree and rested my head. I didn't want to be at school. I miss my bed.

Alice's POV

I felt stupid. I realized that damage I did when he shot up from his seat and ran out the classroom. It was all planned. I didn't want to like him, so I tried to push him away. I thought it was best for me to remain the lonely ice old b@#ch I was. I feared losing someone I loved again. I knew I was a lot to deal with, I know if we were to be together, he would run away. I could not deal with that hurt again.

When the bell rang ran, I sauntered out of class. I felt guilty. I saw Rebecca waiting for me at the door. I did not want to speak. So I placed my hand on her shoulder and we began walking. She knew anytime I was being clingy or as she would put it "nice" I was not in the mood to talk and something was bothering me. While we were walking I saw him. Will. His eyes were teary and red. He was crying. I didn't realise the degree of my damage. I thought I just pissed him off. I felt my stomach churn with fear and guilt. I could not help but stare at him. I wanted to say something but I couldn't. He didn't even look at me. What have I done.