Into the Hornet's Nest

21

          Minho had stopped keeping track of days a while after that, finishing the house and continuing to make it comfortable. The seasons changed, fall bringing him into a few bars and led to him actually making a few friends. He didn't originally think he would bond with them as intensely as he had, considering where that had gotten him with Han. Even though their initial interactions were mostly the two boys talking to Minho in the bar and Minho staying quiet, they continued to press until Minho accepted their phone numbers. Minho had looked at both of them, the taller one reminding him of Han in a lot of ways. The taller boy was so vibrant, so cheerful and warm toward him despite his quiet demeanor that Minho had almost wanted to pull away from the interaction. He wanted to remove himself from any relationships altogether, the shorter boy telling him that he's always free to contact either of them. Soon, Minho did, on a particularly lonely night. Although he stopped counting the days, it had been around day 113 that Minho had gone over to their house - finding out that they were roommates - and finally let himself get close enough to remember the names Hyunjin and Changbin without having to listen for them to come up in conversation. Soon after that night, after he accidentally let his emotions get the best of him as they drank on their living room floor, Minho had told him about Han. He told them about everything that happened, everything that didn't; everything other than Han's name. He told them about how desperately alone he feels while thanking them for not laughing at him when he had cried over too much boxed wine and one too many shots. He let them look at him with pity, neither of them knowing how to console him other than to just hug him tightly and let him relive the moments he missed the most. 

          The three of them got closer after that, Changbin turning into Binnie and Hyunjin staying as Hyunjin. Minho wanted to call him Hyunnie to match Binnie's nickname, but it reminded him far too much of Honey. His friends began inviting him over more, the three of them often spending nights together and the two others finding ways to make Minho smile. Mostly, it had been Hyunjin who succeeded, seeming to know his exact humor and running with it whenever Minho seemed in his head. Binnie had told him about a job opening where he works, Minho looking into it and finding himself at an interview shortly after. As winter rolled around, he finally let himself invite the others into the house in the hopes of it coming alive with more than just one person in it. Minho thought that Hyunjin could do it, if no one else, as if he could trick the house into thinking the person he wanted most had finally arrived and that it would feel okay again. He was partially right, the boys bringing a lot of happiness into the house. They had complemented everything, praised Minho for his work and purposefully avoided the sensitive topic of the attic. Minho had wanted to push himself, bringing them up for the sake of video games. Neither boy commented on the fort that still hung over the couch, nor the telescope he had told them he looked through in the hope of finding Han. The three of them had sprawled over the still made bed, Minho feeling uneasy even around the easiest people to be comfortable around. The others tried to cheer him up, offering to just bring the system downstairs and play in his room. Minho told them it was fine, it just felt weird bringing others into what used to be a safe place for him and the long gone boy. They gave him a sympathetic look before shoving a controller in his hand, practically forcing him into enjoying his time in the attic and push through the guilt he held about it.

          Minho started working alongside Binnie in a cafe, mostly just to bide his time and still find time to spend with the boy. He had grown fond of Binnie, how he was a few inches shorter than him and how close in age they were. He knew the other to be a bit standoffish but to mean well, always checking in with him and sitting with him during their breaks while they ate whatever pastry they would take from the display. He felt as if he were getting to know himself, the more he got to know Changbin. They had similar interests and lives, not to mention their apparent shared love of cats. Minho supposed they both related a lot to cats, that being their reason for loving them. Cats being alone unless they want to be, giving their love to a few select people and having the ability to be sweet on only their terms. Minho had thought that if he and Binnie were cats, Hyunjin was a fox. It had nothing to do with how devilishly handsome he was, but entirely to do with his hyperactive personality. His need to always be involved, always be doing or watching something. How sweet they are despite their ferocity - Minho thinks that if Hyunjin is a fox, he is the mouse under the snow. Hyunjin had dug a hole to find him, quickly dragging him out of it and eating him alive. Something about Hyunjin always sending him little reminders of things to enjoy in life made him exasperated; maybe it was the way he seemed to have an answer for everything and the sly ability to manipulate Minho into thinking better thoughts. Minho was being consumed by both of them, and he honestly didn't mind one bit. He didn't mind being the weaker version of himself around them, knowing that even if they have their fun they will always be there to help with the mess left of him afterward.

           Maybe Minho had considered moving in with them, thirty minutes away from his house and letting himself move on. It had been so long since the last letter, Minho had felt like he was waiting for something that wouldn't come. Between the boys and work, he had gotten too caught up to check Han's mail or check if he had come home. He knew that the latter would be obvious, or at least he had hoped it would be - that Han would have reached out to tell him. So, instead, he kept inviting the boys over to his house. Eventually, the photos of Han beside his bed ended up in the chest tucked in his closet, Minho finally finding himself able to sleep without them. He had a lot of mixed feelings about it, feeling guilty and shameful for not needing to look at Han to feel okay anymore. He couldn't remember when he had changed his phone screen to the three of them, but he still felt the sting of no longer having an instant moment of happiness before the sadness washed over him when he looked at his phone. He convinced himself that the sadness wasn't worth the split second where everything was okay, eventually the three of them finding themselves in Minho's attic to take the fort down on day 184. The boys had been so supportive, wrapping him in a messy hug as he cried about it, telling him that after so long without a letter that it may be better to let himself forget. They told him that he didn't have to forget the person, but that letting himself wallow in his sadness about it wasn't healthy. He could still love Han, love the memory of him without letting it consume him. He had nodded then, both boys squeezing him tightly to their chests before bringing him back downstairs to distract him.