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"do you know what kind of pathetic life I've been living iwa-chan?"

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"when i first saw you, you were like an angel. i thought haven had sent someone to protect me and care for me since i never had someone like that for twenty years of my life."

"i fell in love immediately iwa-chan. i've always watched you from afar, you're so perfect and gosh how i hoped that one day i'll be able to stand with you. i thought you would notice me but then i realized i was overestimating myself. who am i? im a nerdy kid that's gay, have parents that abandoned me the moment i was born and bullying was literally part of my childhood."

"but i really needed someone iwa-chan. someone who loves me. i don't have one though...and then you came so i loved you so much. but then i was always in the shadows so of course i'll be forgotten as always."

"i really wanted to confess to you a few days ago iwa-chan. but, you announced your engagement and everything and do you know that type of feeling? it's like when you have finally found a home of warmth and comfort, it collapse and it can never be built back again."

"so i dreamed. dreamed so much that i thought it was real. but iwa-chan i just really needed someone. no one ever came. no one. im sorry if i seem mad to you. maybe i am. after all i've never knew the feeling of affection and love for twenty-two years. never."

"sorry for all the damage i've caused iwa-chan. i was...just too desperate for love. im moving to miyagi tomorrow anyway and you're staying in tokyo with your girlfriend so i ensure you that you'll never see me again. congratulations on your marriage."

oikawa finished his long explanation with a congrats and stood up. he gave iwaizumi a small smile and kept his macbook, leaving the library. but before he left, he stopped in front of iwaizumi and opened his arms.

"can i at least get a hug from my one-sided love?"

iwaizumi just stared at him, not able to react at all.

"never mind iwa-chan, it's too much to hug a faggot for you isn't it?"

oikawa giggled at his own joke and left once and for all. iwaizumi was basically spacing out after oikawa's explanation. he didn't really know about oikawa's past and he so doesn't understand why oikawa is so desperate for some love.

but he'll find out and so he spend the rest of the day asking around and finally he found out. oikawa past was really bitter and harsh that it even made the fact that he mistook iwaizumi as his boyfriend acceptable.

oikawa grew up as an orphan, his parents didn't have the money to afford a second child so he was chosen to just die by the roadside. he was found by a kind old lady who took him to an orphanage. oikawa's childhood at the orphanage wasn't really happy too. the people there were strict and he had to study a lot or else he'll get canned. and sometimes to the point of bleeding. so that left some permanent scars on his body forever.

oikawa quickly escaped the orphanage the moment he turned of age and rented a small and broken down apartment somewhere rural but it was better than the orphanage.

oikawa never had a guardian in his life, he was surviving on his own self-earned money all the time even up till now. oikawa found out he was gay when he first met a guy on the streets that was kind enough to give him a free hamburger when he was hungry but didn't have money.

basically anyone that was nice to him, he'll like the person back. but they always disappear before he could confess. iwaizumi was his first and only crush that remained near him for so long.

it was sad to find out that his back story was this harsh. but that still doesn't really make him completely innocent because he did spread rumors on iwaizumi and kind of ruin his name. but they were all graduating and moving out of their dorms by now so he won't be able to see oikawa anymore.

good or bad he didn't know but at least his life should be less dramatic now right?

one of oikawa's roommate gave iwaizumi a notebook that oikawa might have left behind while cleaning but he should probably be at miyagi now so it's useless to give it him anyway.

iwaizumi spent the whole night reading it and it was filled with how much oikawa loves him, fanboying moments of iwaizumi and small details about iwaizumi that he didn't even know himself.

but one sentence left a deep impression on iwaizumi's mind and it was ringing in his head the whole night.

he's the protagonist in the story but i was only a side character

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peachyyoonggs- guys the story isn't over yet we still have one more chap to go and i tried my best in making it sounds like oikawa had a really sad past but im so sry if that failed cuz im not good at writing T^T

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