Meet Cute

Chapter 8

Warning: brief mention of suicide

It was a bad idea. Trust me I know it was a bad idea, but I couldn't help myself. That poster was the straw that broke the camel's back, if you will. I wouldn't let anything happen though. I was still with Adam and I just needed to get closure with Chris before I could really give him the full chance that he deserved. 

"Does The Man even know who you're seeing for dinner tonight?" Estelle asked me as she sat on my bed while I got ready. 

I paused for a second before responding. "No." I could feel her rolling her eyes and preparing to give me a lecture, but I spoke again before she could. "It's not a big deal. Nothing is going to happen. It's just for closure."

"So you keep saying." She replied and I could tell by the look on her face that she was not pleased with my decisions as of late. "You know, when I told you to contact him again I didn't mean so you could go on a date with him."

"It's not a date. We're just meeting up as friends to grab some food." She wanted to say something back so bad but she held herself back knowing that nothing was going to stop me at this point. 

"Well," she hesitated, "I hope you get the closure you're looking for." 

I sighed. "Me too." I finished getting ready fairly quickly after that. My nerves were bouncing off the walls and as I made my way to the restaurant I could feel my palms starting to get sweaty. I didn't want to be so nervous to see him and I tried to suppress it as much as I could. I thought that if I wasn't nervous then seeing him didn't mean anything. It was just seeing an old friend. No feelings involved what so ever.

Boy that plan did not work out.

I got to the restaurant before Chris and stood out front waiting for him. Maybe the fresh air would help my nerves. I had only been waiting for a few minutes before I felt Chris' hand on my back. "Hey there." He said as I turned to face him. My heart started beating ten times faster when I saw his face, those blue eyes beaming at me. 

A grin spread across my face. "Hey." He pulled me into a hug and I think if my heart beat any faster it would have burst out of my chest. Feeling him in my arms again felt amazing. He was still in incredible shape from filming, but he was also so gentle. We pulled away from each other and I took the full sight of him in. "You got a haircut." Was the first coherent thing I could think of that wasn't inappropriate. 

He ran a hand over the top of his head. "Yeah, it just felt like the right time for a buzzcut." He laughed. "How do you feel about it."

"It wouldn't be my first choice, I'll admit. But I won't hold it against you." I joked. He laughed again and I swear I could listen to him laugh for hours. 

"Well, now that I know you can stand the sight of me, let's head inside."

The host led us out to a table on the patio and took our drink order before leaving. "So, how've you been?" I smiled and mindlessly twirled my glass of water on the table. 

"I've been good. Glad I finally have some time to relax." It seemed like as he said the words a bit of his stress melted away from him. 

"Sometimes I feel like I relax too much." I joked.

"You're still working at The Grind, right."

"Unfortunately, yes." I joked and he chuckled. "Still working at the coffee shop, still attempting to write something worthwhile, but here we are."

He looked up at me like he was debating saying something, and finally decided to. "I ended up reading that story you got published." No wonder he hesitated. 

"Oh, oh that's cool." I swallowed hard. "I'm a little afraid to ask, but what did you think?"

"Laurel, it was amazing." Now when most people offer me compliments on my writing, I tend to doubt it. I usually just chalk it up to lip service to make me feel better about myself. But the look on his face made me certain that he was sincere. 

"Wow, thank you." He lifted up his glass to cheers me on my writing.

"I did have a question about it though." I took another sip of my wine and nodded for him to ask. "How much of it was based on personal experience?"

I sighed. "Some of it was, for sure. The basis of what happened, yes, but the details and the characters aren't really based on anyone specific from back home. My junior year of high school one of my closest friends hung herself in her closet. It's something that's always really stuck with me and something like that it takes time to process. I guess writing about it was my way to finally really process it." 

We both went quiet. "I'm so sorry." He finally said, "I can't imagine what that must have been like."

"It's okay. It's been enough time that it doesn't sting the way it used to."

We went quiet again for a little while. "Shit, I didn't mean for that to be the mood killer that it ended up being." 

"Don't worry, it was a valid question. And I think she'd like that Captain America is interested in her." I laughed lightly.

"Well, she had a really incredible woman who told her story."

*****

By the time we had finished eating I couldn't bear to leave. Sitting across from him again felt so normal. It was like we were right back where we left off. I would never stop getting lost in those blue eyes. But I tried to shake those thoughts out of my head. We were here as friends. At least that's what I kept telling myself. I had Adam and we were happy. No matter how much I missed Chris I couldn't do anything about it now.

"I'm so glad I got to see you again." He reached across the table and took my hand in his. His touch still felt like electricity and I could just melt from it.

But I had to keep my cool. As gently as I could I freed my hand from his. "Listen Chris, I have to tell you something." The smile on his face sank a little and it was enough to make my heart shatter. "I don't know why I didn't tell you this earlier, I really should've but-" I paused taking a deep breath in before I spoke again. "I- I started seeing someone while you were gone." His face sank even more.

His hand fell back into his lap. "Oh. Okay, I see."

"Chris, I really am so sorry. I honestly don't know why I didn't tell you before. I- I don't know." 

He looked off to the side for a few moments before he turned back to me, but he barely held my eye. "It's okay, Laurel. I couldn't have expected you to wait until I got back. You are a grown up and capable of making your own decisions." 

Fuck. He was handling this so well. Not that I expected him to throw a tantrum, but somehow this was worse. "I just thought that if I saw you again it would just reaffirm our decision, but-"

"Please, don't finish that sentence, Laurel." He looked at me and my heart broke. It was one thing hearing his voice drop over the phone, but seeing his face in front of me made it so much worse. "I don't want to be in the way of what you have with this other guy. You're an important person to me, and if having you in my life means we can only be friends, then so be it." He smiled at me, but there was still sadness behind his eyes. 

"Okay. I can do that." 

*****

When I got back home, I threw my things into my room and walked into Estelle's room. She looked up from her book as I crawled into her bed with her. "So, how'd it go." I groaned in response. "So, he knows about Adam."

"Yep."

"And?" She set her book down on her side table, waiting for me to answer.

I sighed. "We are going to be friends."

"Oh dear." She said and wrapped her arms around me. "You sweet little dummy. Do you wanna get really really drunk?"

"I would love nothing more." I replied and willed myself to melt into Estelle's mattress.