Meet Cute

Chapter 10

When I got home that night I sat in my car trying to brace myself to face Estelle. The thing that finally coaxed me out was a text from her telling me my food was getting cold. I walked inside and tried to pretend that everything was completely normal and I didn't just make my life more complicated than it already was. The act lasted for the thirty seconds it took me to walk from the front door into our kitchen. "What the fuck is up with you tonight?"

"What do you mean?" I said, my voice two octaves higher than usual.

"Stop trying to hide it, I know you too well." She said as she got her own food together. "Did something happen with Chris?"

With my back still facing her, I took a deep breath and came out with it. "I kissed Chris."

She was silent for a while before she sighed. "Oh boy."

"Is that all you have to say?" I asked, turning back around to face her.

"I mean, I don't really know what you want me to say about it." She said. "Did it mean something to you?"

I opened my mouth to respond but shut it before I could say anything. I didn't want it to mean anything. I had spent this much time trying to convince myself that I no longer had feelings for Chris and I didn't want to admit that I was deluding myself. All the time we were spending together under the guise of just being friends was really just me trying to spend as much time with him as possible without being honest with myself. I hesitated again before I finally spoke. "I think it did." She turned away from me but not before I could see her smiling. "Why are you smiling about this? I just majorly fucked up."

"I'm just glad you've finally owned up to it." She said. "You haven't been acting the same since you and Chris broke up. And no matter how much you pretend to like Adam it's pretty obvious that you have never felt about him the way you do about Chris."

I sighed and leaned against the counter. "I really hate it when you're right." I said.

"You might hate me a little more after this, but you've got to talk to Adam now."

I buried my head in my hands. "Oh god, I didn't even think about that. How could I not think about that!" I shouted through my hands. "I'm such an awful person."

Estelle put her arm around my shoulder to comfort me. "You're not a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes and this one really isn't the worst in the grand scheme of things. But you do need to talk to Adam and tell him the truth. Be honest and say you don't want to be together anymore."

We stood in the kitchen for a few minutes in silence, my head leaning against her shoulder while she gently rubbed my back. "How did you learn to give such good advice?"

"I'm your perpetually single friend, it comes with the territory." She joked.

*****

That Friday I told Adam I would meet him at his apartment for dinner. At least if I broke up with him on his down turf he could dramatically throw me out and maybe he'd feel better about that. Wishful thinking, I know. Every minute I got closer to his apartment I felt more and more dread, but I knew this was the only course of action. To do anything else would make me more of an asshole than I already was.

When he opened the door to greet me I tried to plaster on a nice smile and seem normal. It didn't seem to work because his own smile faltered a little when he saw me. "Hey Laurel, I'm glad you could come over tonight." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and stepped aside to let me in.

"Me too." I told him.

"Are you okay? You seem a little tense."

I realized that I was gripping my purse so tight my knuckles were starting to turn white. "Oh yeah, I'm fine." I managed to say and released my hands from the strap of my purse. "Just had a stressful day at work."