The Fourth Quarter Quell

Ready to Pay

''Come on up now, come.'', Petunia gushed, as if my father was a child. He climbed the stage shakily.

''You have two children to choose from: Jonah Canoris and Ivy Canoris. Who do you pick?''

My throat tightened. He is going to choose me. I am the older one, the stronger one. I am going into the Games. I will be dead in a few weeks. It's me.

My father is staring at me and I am staring at him. I bite my tongue as he opens his mouth.

''I choose...'', he hesitates, switching his gaze between me and Jonah. ''I choose... Ivy Canoris.''

I don't know what I was hoping for, or why did hope fill me, but it's all gone. The little hope I clung onto went down the drain.

I knew it was going to be me, so why bother? Was I hoping it would be my brother? He wouldn't last two days in there and my father knows that all too well to pick him.

I climb the stage and stand next to my father. Tears fill his eyes but I give him a reassuring smile as Petunia pulls out another name from the bowl. Her grin changes into an unreadable expression.

''I believe we have a double-draw'', she squeaks, looking at the crowd.

I watch our escort, puzzled. What does she mean?

She glances at the paper and then turns towards my father.

''I am afraid you have been drawn from the reaping bowl again. Must be a great honor having both of your children go into the Hunger Games!'', Petunia said, her signature grin back on her face.

Jonah starts climbing the stage, but she stops him. ''We still have to formally announce it is you, my dear, please stand in the section you...'', she starts but her voice is fading and suddenly I don't hear anything. Not the clicking of her heels, not the roar of the crowd trying to fight the Peacekeepers that came to appease their rage. Nothingness is all I know.

***

I cannot cry. I cannot speak. I can only stare blankly at a hole in the white wall and wait for my father to come say goodbye.

But he doesn't; a Peacekeeper grabs my upper left arm and suddenly I am being dragged outside to board the train. ''Can't I get to say goodbye?'', I ask him.

''No, this is the year of the Quarter Quell. No goodbyes allowed.'', he responds almost robot-like and that's when I brake down to tears.

I need to protect Jonah. I have to. The cost of that? My life.

And I am ready to pay.