Realizations

Part 5

Sirius tried to find the words but he couldn't, his throat turned dry.
"Well..."
Sirius started but he soon stopped, it was like his body didn't want him to tell Remus. He suddenly realized how wrong this was. He couldn't like a guy, he's Sirius Orion Black, Hogwarts famous womanizer. All the words that had been said by Regulus and his parents came flooding back, what if they were right? What if he had run away for nothing? What if he deserved what they gave him? With these thoughts circling his mind, he suddenly became aware of an arm snaking slowly around his shoulders. He didn't know what possessed him to do it but he leaned in, he knew that it was wrong to like Remus but he just couldn't help it. He should like girls, that's just the way it is... Right? Suddenly Remus spoke, making Sirius jump. "Sirius, I'm your best mate right?"
Remus asked gently 'Ouch, that hurt' Sirius thought, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to form. Eventually, he managed a slow nod.
"And, you know you can trust me... Right?"
Remus asked gently.
Sirius nodded again, trying to stop the tears from flowing.
"What's wrong Siri?"
"They urm-"
"You don't have to tell me -"
"They hurt me ok? My parents, they'd hit me and beat me. That's why I can never get changed in front of you cause I don't want you to see..."
Sirius trailed off, refusing to look at Remus. He didn't want to see the pitied look he knew Remus was giving him right now, he just couldn't.
"A-And then this summer they kicked me out because-"
Sirius stopped himself but he knew it was too late already.
"Because of what, Siri?"
Remus whispered, in that comforting voice Sirius knew all too well.
"B-Because, I'M GAY. I'M GAY OK AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO CAUSE I'M SO DAMN IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO SEE IT!!!"
Sirius yelled it felt better like he finally got his point across.
"I-I didn't want you to pity me, I'm sorry,"
Sirius said before he tried to run out of the dorm but Remus held him down, too scared to let him go. Sirius eventually looked up to see tears in Remus's eyes for the first time in over 2 years. It was almost comforting, to know that there was someone else there with him feeling the same emotions, breathing the same air. For the first time in over 16 years, Sirius felt at home.