Realizations

Part 4

Sirius had made his way into the dorm, he couldn't deal with people right then he needed time, to process, to think, to learn to live with his new reality. But his silence was broken by the door being violently thrust open and shut again. It was Remus, he knew by the sound of his footsteps. Remus saw Sirius standing motionless over his bed and decided he was gonna give Sirius a piece of his mind.
"What the h*ll is up with you Sirius!?"
Remus shouted. Startled by the sudden noise Sirius instinctively stepped back not daring to look into Remus' eyes muttering on about,
"Nothings wrong Remus just go back to dinner, ok!?"
That statement sent Remus over the edge and he got louder screaming,
"Don't give me that nothings wrong BS Sirius Black! You won't look me in the eye! You ignore me all summer! And somehow you think this is supposed to be ok!? How do you think I feel huh?"
Remus finished yelling slamming his fist against the post of Sirius' bed. Before Sirius could realize Remus hadn't hit him it was too late his PTSD, panic, and anxiety kicked in. He lowered himself down the wall and started rocking back and forth crying with his legs tucked to his chest trying his hardest to make himself as small as possible. Sirius hated this because he no longer saw Remus he was back at 12 Grimmauld Place and his mother and father were towering over him wands out ready to inflict whatever pain they wanted to.
At that moment Remus realized what was going on and that Sirius had been hit before and not in schoolboy fights. Remus forgot instantly about the argument and knew he had to do something to help the boy he couldn't help but love. Remus slowly walked towards the crying ball that was Sirius Black and said,
"Siri, can I sit next to you I promise I won't touch you?"
Beginning to feel much better with the presence of Remus at his side Sirius began to calm down ever so slightly. Remus then asked as gently as possible,
"Pads can I touch your back?"
Sirius gave an inaudible yes and Remus began to rub gentle circles on his back and whispered to him many little things like,
"Your safe Siri."
"No ones gonna hurt you, baby, I'm here."
"I would never hurt you, babe."
"Your gonna be ok Siri I promise."
After about half an hour of convincing and calming Sirius had stopped crying for the most part and Remus asked but this time much quieter and kinder,
"Siri, what's going on?"