Time Is Not On Our Side - Bradley Simpson

Chapter 22: Your hands are full of blood

I left the store, staring blankly. I didn't know how to react. My brain was disconnected for a moment.

And it was when he reconnected that I freaked out. I had regained my senses and I began to become aware of the situation. My gaze fell on a chair that was lying beside me. I huffed loudly, I was going to explode any second.

I tried to focus on my breathing to calm myself down and not explode but it was unsuccessful and as I predicted, I freaked out. I kicked as hard as I could in this chair, sending it waltzing a few feet away. I was in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

I put my hands in my hair before pulling it as hard as I could, I wanted to think of everything except her. People looked at me like I was a rabid animal but I didn't give a damn, I needed to get my anger and my stress out. I had accumulated so many emotions in the past two days that I was completely on edge.

I had to let off steam and I couldn't find anything better than the wall behind me. I was hitting on it, hitting and screaming like a psychopath. I did not even feel the pain because it was minimal compared to the pain that had taken procession from my heart since 2 days. So I was hitting desperately, hoping that the physical pain would erase mental pain for a while. 

There was more and more blood with each punches I gave. My knuckles were bloodied and the wall was stained while passersby were ready to call the police. But it was then that two arms pulled me away from the wall.

My eyes searched for the person who had stopped me and I noticed Tristan. He took me by the shoulders before shaking me violently

"- Man, what's wrong with you! Pull yourself together! He yelled at me, trying to get me out of my crisis. He kept shaking me and I was like a puppet. Brad! Bradley c'mon! He screamed and I blinked for a few seconds before trying to calm my breath. "

Tristan helped me to sit down. My body had barely touched the ground when tears started to flow profusely down my cheeks. I hid my head in my hands.

I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to lose hope but in spite of myself I think I had lost hope the moment Harry had turned on his heels. It was as if I had been told that she was dead. And I hated myself for that, I hated myself for thinking that she could be dead when no one had told me. I hated myself because I was there, sitting and crying like a coward when she was with Ethan. I hated myself for shutting my mouth when I should have warned everyone that he was dangerous. I just hated myself.

Without her I was lost

"Hey, calm down. Said Tris, kneeling in front of me. What happened to make you upset like that ...?

- He doesn't know anything Tris. It was our last hope and he doesn't know anything at all. I said to him, angrily wiping away the tears that continued to run down my cheeks.

- Stop crying Brad. You've been strong so far, now's not the time to give up ok?

- I know ... I replied unconvinced

- Come on, we're going to go back to the hotel. We will continue the research tomorrow. He said to me before reaching out for me. "

I got up and he hugged me for a few seconds before letting go so that we got back to the car

"Wait! We heard before turning to see Harry. I lied to you ... He told me while he arrived in front of me

- What? I asked, frowning.

- Come inside. Your hands are full of blood. He said to me and I looked at my hands to see that my knuckles were very seriously damaged "