Scars

Chapter Four-Alone

I wake up gasping and with my hands clawing at the bandages on my arm. I breathe out a sigh of relief at not being in the dirt of the backyard, but safe in the Potter's house and in bed. For a few moments, I let my head lay back on the pillow and my eyes shut again. The thing about sleep is that it's either a true escape or a new prison. Unfortunately, last night was the latter.

After seeing everything on paper, all the things I've put the Potter's through and the danger I'd be putting them in if I...became their daughter I knew I'd have to leave. As well as if anyone found out how I really feel about Sirius, he'd immediately become a target. I'll wait until after Christmas, I won't take that joy from them, then leave in the night. Hopefully, they'll all forgive me. My head lifts when my door opens and a soft, sad smile alights my face when Sirius comes in. I tuck the letters I've written to leave them under my pillow as he shuts the door behind him.

"Morning. Heard you shuffling around and thought I'd bring you a cup of coffee." He tells me and I shuffle over to make room for him as he nears me.

"Thank you." My voice is rough from sleep and he looks up at me with a smirk because he knows it.

"You sound sexy in the morning, love." He comments and my eyes roll as he sits next to me at the head of the bed. I hum appreciatively when he hands me the coffee cup and warmth seeps into my palms.

"Mm, I like you infinitely more now," I whisper as I lean back against the wall and he tugs my legs over his lap. I've got to savor this since it'll be the last time he'll be so sweet to me. At least for a while.

"Don't mind that." He comments back and runs a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. "What happened here?" Gently, his fingers turn my right arm so he can see the ripped bandages. He looks up at me with raised brows. I shrug and look down for a moment.

"Bad dream. Did it in my sleep."

"Then I'll fix it for you," Sirius says instantly and puts his cup on the bedside table before gently unwrapping my arm. "You know, I've seen this mark on people before. Just flashes of tattooed skin when family was at the house." He speaks softly, contemplatively, before revealing the ugly red. He looks at it without disgust or anger. He just treats it like another part of me. God, I hope he forgives me. "But just because it was carved into you doesn't mean that's who you are." He says and the words soothe me, but I can't ignore the blaring red of the mark.

"Shouldn't it be healing faster than this?" I ask with just a tint of desperation. Sirius looks up at me as he sets the bandages aside, putting new ones in his lap.

"Arell, why don't you let it breathe a while? Whenever I get scrapes, Mrs. P tells me to bandage it only as long as it bleeds. The air will get it to scab, then it heals."

"It scars, you mean. They said he didn't want it to go away." Sirius sighs and holds my arm gingerly in his hands.

"Thought scars didn't matter to you, Mane." He reminds me and I nearly roll my eyes while he smirks. "Skin is just skin, love. No matter what's on it. What matters is this right here." His lips hover over my wrist as his eyes burn into mine. His thumb is pressed to my pulse before it moves aside to be replaced by soft lips. My eyes shut a moment as I shiver at the feeling, then open to find him grinning.

"Maybe I'll let it breathe." I relent with a pent-up breath. Sirius squeezes my hand before letting it drop and grabbing his coffee again. I'm on my third sip and am shocked that he made it just how I like it.

"So, what did you get me for Christmas? Only a few days away now." His eyebrows waggle playfully and I grin over at him.

"Tell me mine and I'll tell you yours." I tease him back, already feeling more awake and happier with him near. Sirius shakes his head with his hand on my knee, thumb rubbing little circles on the inside.