ON HOLD The perks of being a Hafizah

Nabila

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
Yahya's POV

I opened the porch door to Abu Bakr and greeted him with a salam.

At that very moment, he had awoken from his mid morning dream and looked at me in complete devastation.
I wiped the smile off my face and began to look searchingly toward him.

What was wrong with him?

He muttered a reply to my salam.

"Come in come in" I said welcomingly while my pyjamas and ruffled hair and beard said something else.

"Where is your Ummi?" I looked at him extremely confused.
What? My Ummi?

"Inside brother come in first"

He walked in almost motionlessly. Every inch of his body aligned up with the rest; walking almost robotically into the kitchen.

And out came a scream.

He closed his eyes and turned around towards me.

"Forgive me. Laa howla wa la quwwata illa billa" I looked back at his face and could trace the frozen river about his cheek. I slowly led him into the living room.

Stupid Zahra. I walked into the kitchen.

"Your such a dooshbag; you saw him walk into the kitchen and still" Zahra was furious. Beyond furious; she was raging; like a untamed fire; her face almost bursted from the blood that gushed so visibly.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I said apologetically.

"Shut up" she said wide eyed as she ran into the toilet.

I walked towards Ummi who was decorating my crêpe.

"That's nice Abu Bakr has joined us for breakfast! I thought he was at university Yahya" she looked at me.

I lowered my voice to a soft whisper and spoke as close as I could to ummi.

"Ummi, I don't think he came for that. He said he wants to talk to you and he looks pretty devastated" Ummi searched my tired face for a hint of amusement but I was clearly serious. And pretty scared. Whatever it was and whatever my have been causing him to be so grumpy, was making me grumpy too.

"Inna lilla hee wa inna ilayhee raji'oon" Ummi began wiping her hands with the tea towel concentrating into my face yet again just to check I wasn't joking, but I retaliated with no evidence.

She began to look concerned and picked up the plate with my decorated crêpe and places it on a breakfast tray along with a cup of orange juice.

"I went to pick up the clothes from the garden and saw Amatullah at her window. Why don't you go and hand this to her upstairs and make sure you knock" she looked at my sadly and placed a banana on the tray.

Quite sadly I stared at the beautiful masterpiece and wished from Allah swt something better in return...like two crêpes with ice cream.

"Make sure you give it to her" Ummi adjusted her scarf and attended to Abu Bakr in the living room.

From the distance I heard Ummi's high pitched voice; a failed attempt to make Abu Bakr smile- quite inevitably impossible with his devastatingly contagious facial expressions.

I walked with the tray quite slowly towards the stairs that had meant I had to walk past the living room.

I couldn't make out anything- not a word but sounds; low grumbles, high pitched sighs and as the room window was opaque I stood right outside of it to make something out.

And it wasn't right....Islamically and morally. I couldn't bear the guilt and walked along much slowly.

"Nabila" a word that struck a chord clear to the human ear.

My eyes widened and my chest tightened and I stood rooted at the spot. And every breath was getting heavily and my pupils diluted. I knew what I was about to have....and it wasn't good.

The door shook a little which stimulated me to run up the stairs and barge straight into Anatullah's room.

And as I did, the strength of light that beaned through the window smudged figure of Anatullah and all I could see was a think black brush stroke.

My head spun uncontrollably...and landed myself into the floor letting my hands which held the breakfast tray collided themselves with the coffee table in the middle of the room.

LA illaha illallah! LA illaha illalah!

My knees made next contact unto the wooden floor and my head just missed the table.

Sweat began to drip...one by one so systematically that I tried counting them. Each one of them: one...two....three...and by the fourth my head landed unto the floorboard.

From that moment I was blank.